Important post, un-skippable, high information density, to be read with the post Confessions and Reforming the Justice System. Please do not read this post in isolation to those posts, especially Confessions, because if you do so, I believe that you'd more more likely than not go away with the wrong impression and get all the wrong ideas, which is why I want you to get a complete picture and try to understand my ideas completely. Read those posts with this one, if you have read them, or don't read this, as half-baked knowledge and incomplete information is more dangerous than ignorance in this case. This post is directly connected to my posts Reforming the Justice System and Confessions, and indirectly related to my Schopenhauer series; you could think of this post as a direct real-life application of my ideas in Schopenhauer which are more general and abstract. New to this blog? Start here.
After not watching any series or movies for over a year, I decided to watch 'My Friend Dahmer' and 'Monster', Dahmer's new Netflix series, back to back. I was thinking- or rather my brain was protesting for not being 'productive' and focusing on my research projects and books- that I should just read or watch a short summary, but I felt that this is interesting and I should try to de-stress and relax for a while. And so of course I select a series like Dahmer; what better series to relax, right? That was sarcasm, but actually they did make a great movie and series, the actors were great, both those on the side of Dahmer and the victims.
So, as I said, I decided to indulge in some lighthearted fun to relieve the stress of overworking for a long time. I chose to watch 'Monster' and 'My Friend Dahmer'- as the title might have given away. I don't regret watching it all completely.
Both the movie and the series go hand in hand, in my opinion, because the movie is about events preceding those depicted in the Netflix series, and the series starts from approximately where the movie ends, though there was a long gap between the movie and this series- the series is very recent. I am glad I watched it all- even if I had to speed up the slow parts- because funnily both the movie and the series were going a bit slow and getting boring in the beginning- the first one third part of the movie and the first 3-4 episodes of Monster- but I watched it all and it got interesting, both the movie and the series getting very tense and interesting by the end; I could feel the tension in the air and the emotions the characters were going through, really well made.
I will start with the main highlights, the tl;dr, the brief summary or main takeaways or comments that I feel are the most important in case you don't wish to read the whole post, which is understandable because it's a long one, but then again it's going to be out-of-context and even though I've tried to be clear in everything I write and also describe the scenes I'm talking about, it's going to be in a random sequence out of order but still I don't think you're going to face and difficulties trying to understand the point I'm trying to convey.
If you do, I'm always just one text message away, just keep in mind that I am going to be perfectly honest, direct, and logical; which means even if I say some stuff that is unconventional or sounds unethical, it might be, because I'm only going to follow my own idea of morals, which says that do no harm and is built by values such as kindness, compassion and empathy. Also that no sentient being must be unfortunate enough to suffer due to being at a relative disadvantage due to blind luck, random chance or accident of birth, and that it's out moral responsibility to help people who are less fortunate than we are.
I am writing a real-time review of the movie "Dahmer", including my personal opinions and preferences. I am also referring to scenes from the movie. While watching, I talk to my imaginary friend, who I use as a sounding board for my thoughts and feelings. I must admit that I am feeling lonely, and social isolation is starting to get to me. Therefore, I am being open and expressive with my imaginary friend, who is a close confidant that has the time to talk, listen, understand, relate, and find me interesting.
If you are someone who cannot respect personal preferences and opinions, then please exit now. Although I have made my logic and reasoning clear, as one would with a close friend, I still share things that I would only tell a trusted confidant. Therefore, this is the only exception to the rule that I am open to criticism. I am sharing my subjective personal feelings, and even though I believe what I say to some extent, I am also writing what I think and feel in real-time. If you cannot handle unpopular or unconventional opinions, then I kindly request that you save your precious time and mental energy and stop reading here.
Lastly: The highlights are going to make sense, grammatically, but my comments are going to be like how I talk, how I would talk to a close friend while watching a movie and not thinking about using the best word to get my point across, clearly convey what's going on my mind, but just what I feel like saying without much effort, so it might be incorrect gramma or spelling mistakes or plain incoherent mess of ideas that might not make sense, though I try not to do that, you have been warned, which is why I even bothered to create a separate 'highlights' section before coming to the main content.
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Highlights:
He claims that he is not insane, and he may be telling the truth, but dealing with psychopaths is complicated. They can mix truths with lies and even say things that people would expect them to lie about in order to manipulate them. While I am aware that psychopaths are skilled at manipulating others with their charm, wit, and deceit, I still believe they need help. However, I am not one of those foolish people who idolize killers like Ted Bundy. These people only make it harder for those of us who advocate for a more balanced approach by falling prey to obvious biases and glamourizing the killers.
I believe that both extremes - those who refuse to understand killers and those who glamorize them - are mistaken, and that we need to integrate both approaches to find the best solution for preventing future crimes. People who glamorize killers without considering the victims or their loved ones are especially foolish, and their actions only make the job of those of us who advocate for balance more difficult. In my opinion, those who emulate or mimic glamorizers in movies, TV shows, and other media are even more foolish than those who completely disregard the external factors that may have led to the killers' actions. While psychopaths can be fixed with help and understanding, it is important not to label them as evil, unchangeable people. With enough knowledge of neuroscience and empathy, anything is possible.
I am extremely bothered by the way some teens are glamorizing Dahmer. These individuals are exactly the type of people I mentioned earlier, who make it difficult to extract valuable lessons and insights to prevent similar tragedies from happening again. The fact that these teens are sending cards as if they were his friend shows a complete lack of morals and empathy for his victims. It is foolish, and I am lost for words. It's another instance where human stupidity and irrationality are on full display.
Both sides are irrational in their beliefs. Some refuse to listen and understand to empathize with Dahmer to prevent future criminals, while others illogically idolize and glamorize him as if he is a role model. I try my best to understand both perspectives, but I wish never to stoop to their level of stupidity. We should focus on learning and understanding both sides' important logical parts, helping these individuals in the future and preventing future crimes. It's as if people are mindless automatons who blindly follow their emotions and intuition.
Initially, it was somewhat justifiable and understandable for both sides, but when people never wake up from this and realize what they are doing wrong, it becomes a problem.
However, I do agree with the letter and mail that says that Dahmer will never die, similar to Freddy Krueger or Michael Myers, he has achieved symbolic immortality. He is infamous for something that is unethical in society, but he is still a victim of his genes and environment. It's an intriguing case study and incident for true crime lovers, perhaps for decades or even centuries to come. It could also act as a cautionary tale, like the Holocaust and World War II, so we never repeat these events. Nonetheless, we must address the underlying problem, treating it as a mental disorder or illness.
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It's important to understand that mental illness is a complex and nuanced issue, and it's not always easy to draw clear lines between what is considered "insane" and what is not. While it's true that some individuals may have intrusive thoughts or impulses to harm others, this does not necessarily mean that they are automatically classified as "insane." It's important to take into account the severity and frequency of these thoughts, as well as other factors such as the person's ability to control them and their level of functioning in everyday life.
In terms of Jeff Dahmer, it's clear that he committed horrific acts of violence and caused immense harm to others. However, it's also important to recognize that he had a diagnosed mental illness (antisocial personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and many others that you could look up on the net) and likely experienced significant psychological distress and dysfunction throughout his life. While his actions were undeniably harmful and unacceptable, it's important to approach the issue with compassion and understanding, rather than simply labeling him as "evil" or "insane."
It's also worth noting that individuals with mental illnesses are not inherently dangerous or violent. In fact, the vast majority of individuals with mental illnesses do not commit violent acts, and those who do often have other risk factors (such as a history of trauma or substance abuse) that contribute to their behavior.
Overall, it's important to approach discussions of mental illness with sensitivity, nuance, and an understanding of the complex factors that contribute to these conditions. It's important to recognize that individuals with mental illnesses are not defined solely by their symptoms or behaviors, and that they deserve compassion, support, and access to appropriate treatment and care.
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Yes, I was right. It happened right after I finished writing the previous sentence. She tried to explain how we could speak in favor of Jeff without forgiving him, but instead getting him the help he needs. She said that what he did was unforgivable, but it was an illness that could be treated. Of course, I would have checked if I were dreaming by doing a reality check. If that person said that they had empathy and understood me, I would have believed in their compassion and kindness. Even though I would never forgive Dahmer for what he did to my son, I would still want him to be studied by psychiatrists to see how his brain works in order to prevent future Dahmers from victimizing innocent people.
If we don't give psychiatrists a chance to at least study him, we would never be able to know what factors, genes, brain areas, etc., cause this, so we can avoid it in the future. I would feel indirectly responsible for the future victims who could be prevented from being victimized by other sociopaths like Dahmer in the future. Even though my son is lost and I hate Dahmer, I can still help those who might face a fate similar to that of my own son. The best I can do is speak in favor of Dahmer, not because I forgive him, but for the future Dahmers who have not yet killed anyone and who could be detected early, helped, treated, and stopped before it escalates in the future. I want to help those who might be victimized by future Dahmers. It's tough to balance both conflicting worldviews, but I like doing this, and I am much better at it now. It's important because both worldviews are correct in their own way and can help us create a better, safer, and more humane society where no one has to suffer.
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Lionel even understands that it's a disorder, and others like him could be helped in the future. That's exactly what I'm going to do - help people who are just victims of the disorder before they do anything that makes them a "monster". Lionel said, "All those fantasies...I should have made you feel comfortable enough to have told me about that stuff...because I had similar fantasies." Exactly. Not just fathers, but I dream of a society where such people are able to share such fantasies not just with their parents or psychologists - like Dahmer, they might not even know it's an illness - but with their friends or close ones. If they're lonely like Dahmer, at least someone they know - their parents, grandmother, cousin, anyone. This way, we get to know who's at risk and fix them early.
I hate that the news spoiled it for me. It would have been a real suspense. But I didn't know this - how he seems to deliberately be trying to get killed, as he knows that it would be better than a whole life in prison, and it's the only way because the death penalty doesn't exist yet. I might even say that the non-existence of the death penalty is much more cruel than the existence of a death penalty, even if inhumane and involves suffering. Although I'm advocating for painless death penalties, it's still much better than a long life with no hope. Though it could be made even worse - emotional and psychological trauma, deliberately treating and torturing - so it's better than that, but still worse than the death penalty for people like Dahmer who can't realistically hope to be reinstated into "civilized" society, even if they are treated and given the help they need.
"It's an evil book written with evil intent." Well, she may be right, but she might be wrong. Because now, as I said, not only is it very unlikely that we get to study someone like Dahmer to prevent future evil actions and future victims, but she's even stopping people from writing about it so we can know about history - like, what the hell woman? It's understandable that you lost your son, but now that you have already done your bit by being partly responsible for future Dahmers by not speaking in favor of a psychiatric ward - to identify how to treat future Dahmers - at the very least let them write books so that we can remember to not repeat history. Humans are already too bad at not learning lessons from history and repeating it over and over again, so at least let it exist in the pages of history so people like me can have some material that could help prevent such crimes and help other sons and daughters of other parents treat future Dahmers. Think a bit logically now. Your son is gone, and it's terrible and the actions were evil and unforgivable - I can understand that. But at least don't do something that makes it harder to prevent such crimes in the future.
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He just wanted his parents to know about the warning signs, which aligned perfectly with my own goal of detecting and preventing future Dahmers before it escalates. These people are unintentionally and irrationally making it harder for us, because if they knew they were just playing a part in the future victimization of sons and daughters by future Dahmers, they would be partly responsible for not preventing him from getting into a psych ward for investigation. Now, they are making it even harder for his father to inform and educate other parents about detecting and treating signs in time to prevent future Dahmers from victimizing innocent people.
Their selfish emotions and preferences are understandable, but they are propagating the same vicious cycle that is hard to break out of. By labeling Dahmer as evil and not allowing others to learn from the incident, we cannot prevent it from happening again and save the future victims and help the future killers in time before their compulsions, desires, and intrusive thoughts get the best of them. We need to test interventions on those currently sentenced to life imprisonment or death and learn more about past killers, criminals, and sociopaths to prevent future crimes through early detection, prevention, treatment, and rehabilitation.
Although there are books and series available on this topic, we need to fix the stigma and mindset of society to be more compassionate and empathetic, not just to the criminals but also to the future victims or criminals before they commit such crimes. Everyone involved needs to set aside their selfish emotions and think straight because it's okay to cope and recover from trauma, but it's not okay when it makes it harder for us and everyone else to prevent such things from happening in the future and help those who might be victimized. We need to break this cycle now.
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The official who granted access to Dahmer's information to a mentally ill psychiatric patient inmate because he said "pretty please" was a foolish and incompetent person. I hope she realized her mistake later on, was either fired or retrained to be more capable, and learned how to keep confidential information confidential. Even if the consequences of her actions are not severe, her decision was bad and idiotic. It doesn't change the fact that I can see the negative effects that could result from it. She may have worsened his psychiatric condition and possibly compelled him to act in ways that make his life even more difficult, given his existing mental illnesses. He had "found Christ," and only time will tell how well he adheres to Christ's teachings of peace and compassion.
I had never heard of John Gacy before. It seems unfair that he was given the lethal injection while Dahmer was not, just because Gacy was probably in another state. Justice should be the same for people in the same country at a given time, at the very least. It ought to be uniform to that extent.
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I understand your point that labeling someone "evil" after they have committed a murder may not make a difference since they would be unfit for reentry into society. However, I believe that good and evil are social constructs and subjective value judgments that change over time and vary from society to society. These judgments are not based on external observable objective reality but can be influenced by logic, language, and psychology. Even someone with seemingly good intentions can have negative consequences, while someone who does evil can have positive effects.
It is important to understand that people are not born evil, and every human has the potential for good and bad. It is their genes and brains that influence their behavior, and we can work on fixing or treating those underlying issues. By doing so, we can prevent future crimes like those committed by Dahmer. If we fail to take responsibility for preventing such crimes, we will be responsible for future victims. I may have been mistaken about the religious aspect of forgiveness, but if it is true that God forgives everyone, even those who do not "deserve" it, then I agree with the priest.
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With all religions and gods that promote forgiveness, compassion, kindness, and empathy, I believe that we who share such beliefs should unite. I even made a video about this because some people out there are spreading hatred and inciting violence. Therefore, all religions that believe in being kind, compassionate, not harming others, and helping people should come together so that people with selfish motives cannot use religion to spread hatred and violence.
Glenda is now talking more logically than before. At least she acknowledges to the pastor that she cannot forgive Jeff Dahmer and wants to see him suffer, even though she realizes that Jesus wants forgiveness and that it was his brain that could not control itself. She is unable to get past these negative feelings, but she wants to go beyond them into the "good place." This makes me think of something interesting - people know that they should forgive and have kindness and empathy, and this gives me hope for humanity. They turn to religion for this, but at some point, even religion fails to give mental peace and comfort, as in the case of Glenda and Jeff Dahmer.
It is highly unlikely that Jesus will come down to earth and remove all the nightmares and make Glenda forget her PTSD and negative thoughts to be happy again. However, I know how to do it, and I am going to do it. Would that make me more powerful than God? I am being honest - I have no interest in religion; I am an agnostic atheist. But if people want mental peace and comfort from religion, and I can show them how to achieve it through psychiatric, neurosurgical, psychopharmacological, and neurotechnological behavioral psychological tools, would they start seeing how science is more powerful than God?
This reminds me of that LessWrong sequence post (which I need to read entirely) where Eliezer talks about how religion is the only social institution left untouched by science. Soon people will realize that the answers they sought in religion, the comfort, peace, and goals they wanted out of religion, they can get much more easily, effectively, and reliably from science. Once they see that, they would not need religion anymore, and we can live in peace, harmony, and unity.
I would be happy even if we could achieve this with religion, but for cases like Glenda's PTSD, it's similar to how I promised my friend, who has PTSD due to childhood sexual abuse, that I am going to create this thing that can snap out PTSD, erase traumatic memories, and allow them to live happily again. This is realistic; research is being done, one research that comes to mind is Julia Shaw. I know I can achieve this, and it can be made a reality. People don't realize what is possible when you figure out the right manipulation of the brain, how it works, and treat it. Anything is possible in this regard, Nozick metaverse, any experience, any subjective mental state illness disorder, ability trait, perception of reality itself.
Then we could help people like Glenda and also indirectly help people be more empathetic and forgive such people, and at least early detect and prevent such criminals from having their first kill again. We could think logically and be free from negative emotions, calm, and indifferent like a monk with neurotech. Then we could get closer to a society more peaceful and compassionate. This is just one of my patents; I am getting a patent publication that treats a very similar disorder, and I could extend it to PTSD and treat people like Glenda who have been indirectly victimized.
Then we could also indirectly help in this way (cause and effect) the criminals before they become criminals, those with mental illnesses who have such compulsions, desires, intrusive thoughts, and before there are any victims.
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HAHAHAAHAHAH. I'm sorry. I know this is serious, believe me. I know because laughing is my own coping mechanism, and to be honest, it's hilarious and absurd. "You have a big heart, Glenda." "But how do I make it stop!?" "Well, you can't. You just pray to God." LOL. So, as I guessed even before coming to this scene, God fails here. God has limits. God is after all, not so omnipotent, all-powerful, and He is powerless where science can help. When science can help such people who go to God but return hopeless, science can give them a ray of hope and show them that religion was good and nice, but it has its limits. Science and religion don't have to be two separate things actually. You can believe in your religion and believe that maybe "God" made it possible to come up with such scientific tools or whatever gives you mental comfort, but at least they will start believing in science this way, and we could prevent suffering using the tools I have in mind.
Setting aside what I just said, the pastor I don't expect to have such scientific knowledge. Keeping that in mind, he is giving some great advice. To just give it time and double down in your faith, distract yourself, seek support, and with time, one day, she won't feel a thing when she sees Dahmer's face. I know this is great advice because until now, we never had all this tech to achieve this so quickly and easily. Actually, we still need a few years to perfect the tech, and this has worked for me.
I'm not saying I have experienced nearly what Glenda and Dahmer's victims must have, but I have suffered too. I won't downplay my suffering because others have suffered more, but I'm not saying that it's as much as them. Yet, I have been very depressed and anxious at times, suicidal at times, and I have tried all meditation and breathwork. It works only till a limit. After that, you need other methods. More long-term, lasting, permanent methods. I describe those methods in my other posts and on YouTube, but in brief, it's conscious, deliberate application of philosophical, linguistic, psychological, behavioral tools to real life, intuitive, active recall, and spaced repetition, neurofeedback training, and direct manipulation using pharmacological, neurotechnological, biological, and other tools.
Please keep in mind what I am saying right now is just the current best solution I can think of, and I'm willing to improve my solution and change my mind if required, which is why I'm going public and reaching out to researchers in this field.
I just had a brilliant idea. How about using Sarco pod as an execution method for capital punishment? This psychiatric patient is rationalizing based on his own intuitive desires. He wants to kill Dahmer, so he is using religion again, again, a religion to interpret what he means. "God told me," which is why I call for us all to unite. Religion, no violence, all peace, forgiveness, compassion, kindness, so even such psychotic psychiatric patients have it embedded deep into their psyche that God would never want suffering and harm. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the process of rationalization that I describe in my posts, Objective is Subject, and Confessions, which allows such a person to reconcile his desire to murder Dahmer with his belief in God. To avoid cognitive dissonance and believe that he is being "good" and sleep peacefully at night. It's understandable because he's a psychiatric patient, but it's not understandable why the policeman who was supervising them went out or that person who gave him access to Dahmer's crimes.
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Wow. I am speechless. This was really unexpected. Lionel suddenly turned irrational, while his mother acted logically. I never expected a chemist to be like that. He is also Dahmer's father, but even his mother realizes how beneficial studying Dahmer's brain could be for researchers. It's like Einstein's brain was for the study of genius and intelligence, Dahmer's brain could be for sociopathy and everything he did. It could greatly advance our progress and help detect early future Dahmers and treat them, fix them, and help them before it's too late. Dahmer wanted to be cremated, but he also wanted to murder a 13-year-old, have sex with his dead body, dismember him, and eat him. So, isn't it fair that now that he's dead, we can use his brain to do good? Dahmer himself said in his last words in court that he was only accepting to stand in trial because he wanted to help people with similar disorders in the future, so why not? I really hope that Lionel does the right thing. Let's continue watching. I'd like to hear that Dahmer's brain was preserved and studied, and now we know what caused it, at least better than we knew before getting the brain. Please don't destroy such a precious golden opportunity to study this interesting organ that caused so much suffering and damage to society that could be used to help future Dahmers and prevent future victims, save future sons and daughters, help those with similar compulsions. We don't need another Dahmer, Gacy, or Ed Gein. It's enough. This needs to stop now, and we have had enough times history and repeated itself, and it's high time we learn now.
Oh, that's interesting. I need to check out what happened with Gacy's brain. It turns out he was also the inspiration for King's Pennywise the Clown. If Lionel has evidence and good reasons, and he's a chemist, he might be making a well-informed decision. But I still don't believe, judging by how sure he is, that a scientist, and one of the core pillars of the scientific method, is open-mindedness. Even a small chance that we could understand and learn something new is, in my opinion, worth the alternative that is just burning it away. That would respect his father's emotions, which stem from Dahmer's wishes, but I think Lionel must have had good reasons for this. I don't know.
The judge nailed it, perfectly nailed it when he said, "Closure; it's a rather evil chapter in our human existence, so to speak. I believe it would be beneficial to the public and all concerned that there be closure." That's exactly what made me modify my theories to not treat even if they can be treated when my cousin earlier made me realize they won't be accepted back into society anyway. Then I came up with this plan to let them die life sentence and test out interventions on them till they are good enough to be used to treat before someone commits their first crime. Also, I need to make a rule that says the kids should be allowed to work till late at night, and their mothers should, if not try to understand the important stuff their sons are working on, at least understand that they are working on something important and interesting. Their research interests, even if it's 2 am at night and they can sleep, and he will sleep soon, but please don't interrupt them while they are working and respect their preferences. It's causing no one harm and only going to help people in the future.
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The judge's statement on closure being a malevolent chapter in human existence has led me to modify my theories. I now propose that even treatable criminals who cannot be accepted back into society should be allowed to die life sentence while undergoing interventions until they are deemed suitable for treatment before they commit their first crime. Additionally, I suggest that a rule be implemented allowing children to work late into the night and their mothers to respect their work, even if it interferes with their sleep, as long as it does not cause any harm.
I disagree and strongly oppose the decision to destroy the brain because of closure. Although I previously agreed with my cousin that we cannot help criminals who have already victimized someone, I modified my plan to consider their feelings. However, destroying the brain is unacceptable, and I believe that it presents a significant opportunity to help parents and their sons as well as society as a whole. I hope that the judge's ruling was for appearance only and that scientists somewhere are studying the brain to help people in the future.
While watching the brain being destroyed, I realized that we may never know why Dahmer committed such heinous crimes. However, we cannot change the past, so we must move on and use what we have to prevent similar incidents in the future. If such cases arise, I will do everything in my power to ensure that humanity does not lose such brains forever.
Regarding Dahmer's crimes, I realized that even if he drugged his victims before making them suffer, he indirectly caused suffering to their loved ones. Therefore, the distinction between him and other serial killers is not significant. Furthermore, the future pleasure and contribution to society that his victims could have had may have outweighed the negative impact, and it is uncertain whether Dahmer prevented them from experiencing suffering.
In conclusion, the judge's statement has led me to modify my theories, and I strongly oppose the destruction of the brain. We must use what we have to prevent similar incidents in the future, and we cannot justify Dahmer's crimes or excuse him from the suffering he indirectly caused to his victims' loved ones.
End of highlights.
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You know what. I'll just post the full comments later. They are too unpolished and incomprehensible right now for anyone, and I already talk about the most important takeaways that I'd like people to read. But still I'll just post some of the comments that I judged not important enough to be included in the highlights yet that were comprehensible enough and that I wish to include, felt like sharing, though do keep in mind that you can now stop reading if you were looking for just something to learn, there is nothing to learn ahead, but if you are having fun, just curious maybe, then sure, read on.
I am engrossing myself in my projects to find greater meaning and to help others who have experienced similar struggles to mine, including individuals like Dahmer. I am willing to risk my mental health for this purpose because it is already compromised, and I have little to lose and everything to gain. By helping myself and future individuals who could potentially go down a dark path, I hope to prevent more tragedies like Dahmer's from occurring.
It is not appropriate to point towards someone else and say that they could have been a killer, so I will admit that I, too, could have gone down that path. Chance, luck, environmental factors, and nurture all play a significant role in shaping an individual's personality and behavior. However, I believe that with the right guidance and support, people who have gone down a dark path can be helped and rehabilitated.
I am aware that I share similar attitudes towards humans as Dahmer did. However, through my research, I discovered that he was empathetic towards animals and cared for them deeply. This realization helped me understand that humans are not necessarily all "NPCs," and I want to help those who struggle with this viewpoint.
As a coping mechanism, I use humor to mock the irrationality of humans and society. Still, I am serious about achieving my goals to fix society's problems according to my moral standards. If anyone wishes to stop me, they can only do so by providing logical arguments and evidence to change my mind. If that is not possible, the only other option would be to kill me, which I am okay with because I will no longer have to worry about humanity or society's absurdities.
I am socially isolated, and I don't play games or watch movies except for Dahmer, which is an exception. I'm thinking of watching more true crime movies, but I say this to let you know that I'm serious about achieving my goals. You can join me on my journey if you agree that no one deserves to suffer and everyone deserves to be loved. Alternatively, you can offer constructive criticism and engage in productive debate, or you can kill me. As far as I know, there are no other options. If you know of any, please let me know. I realize that moral anti-realism and the fact that dogs act according to their brains and humans have empathy determinism, cognitive empathy, system 1 and 2, but this is still a personal preference, and as a human being, it's justified.
As always, with regards to such things, I was right. The external factors that compelled Dahmer were too great to overcome, and society didn't notice. Nobody noticed until one day he snapped, and then all of a sudden, everyone wanted him dead. The idiots don't learn their lesson from it and don't see how recognizing the signs early and removing the stigma can help such people in the future and prevent such crimes. No victims, no criminals, yet no one sees this. Everyone wants them dead after they do it, and it's frustrating. Jeff was just doing this because he saw his parents fighting again, his parents' divorce, no friends, repressed homosexuality, sexual desires, fantasies, alcohol to distract, psychopathic desires, abusive environment. Anyone would have snapped, anyone. Shadow theory, Carl Jung. I need to dive deeper into the theory and his other theories and those of others. I already have scientific evidence and logical arguments, but I will make my case as strong as possible, so everyone can critique my main ideas and listen to all of it before giving me logical reasons against.
I also need to learn emotional regulation, be non-neurotic, perfectly calm, indifferent, and apathetic. Meditation doesn't work for me, so the best tool right now is to take deep breaths, inhale through the nose, and exhale slowly through a little opening from the mouth, making an O. In addition to this, I need to work on my philosophical ideas, worldview, and principles, like skills, emulating people who have this skill, such as monks, perhaps. I can't waste time and go on a retreat or join monks in the mountains for a year. I have a short life and need to make the most out of it, maximize the chances of success in achieving my goal. What else could help me be calm? Neurofeedback, AI apps with biomarkers, direct interventions like pharmacological, biological, BCI implants, and other behavioral and psychological tools, and also social tools.
I need friends; I can't take social isolation anymore. THEY JUST SAID COURT JESTER. "DAHMER IS LIKE YOUR COURT JESTER." This is getting too much. Just a few weeks ago, the same person I described in my post 'heated discussion,' someone who I thought was like-minded and their friend, both teased me by calling me court jester, and then later I realized they are not like-minded and kicked me out. I'm still a little annoyed, but I can understand, and I have empathy for them. I won't turn Dahmer. Except for the fact that once in school, I was rumored to be a serial killer, the left-handed weird silent kid, and then in university, I was nicknamed robot, Dahmer, Dexter Morgan.
Apart from the fact that I was once rumored to be a serial killer in school, and was known as the weird, silent left-handed kid, and later in university was given nicknames like Robot, Dahmer, and Dexter Morgan, it is worth noting that even Dahmer displayed strong signs of Asperger's syndrome - you can look it up on the internet. I can tell just by the way he's being portrayed, and reading about his early childhood, that I can strongly relate to him. However, I am the person you get when you cross a non-psychopathic Dahmer who is predisposed to having a strong sense of morality and a desire to help people and create a better society, with no such unethical compulsions, intrusive thoughts, or impulsive desires, and a few other insignificant differences. That's how I would describe myself right now.
It's also worth mentioning that I have been told that other people dislike me, which used to bother me a lot, but now I don't care as much. However, I still think I should care to a certain extent so that I don't become like Dahmer. I have a strong sense of morals, and I would rather die than become like him. Therefore, I need some social interaction to live, even though I hate my brain for having such human social needs. I would have loved to be a hermit, like the Maine hermit Chris Knight. I sometimes wish I could tweak my genes or distract myself, but it never works. No matter how you distract yourself, it will eventually come back and affect your mental health in some way, just like it did with Dahmer. Or you can channel your energy productively and achieve greatness in a positive way. It doesn't necessarily have to be by society's standards, but by your own standards, as long as it's mentally healthy.
On his friends, I have mixed feelings. They considered the possibility that they were being cruel towards Dahmer's friend and using him for entertainment, no less manipulative than Dahmer himself. However, they were also good enough to make him feel included, yet he still felt lonely. From personal experience, I know that it's better to be alone and lonely than being surrounded by people who make you feel lonely, let alone people who are using you as a court jester clown. Although it might be different for Dahmer, seeing the movie doesn't suggest that it was, as he was clearly annoyed and left them for weeks. I believe they should have noticed the signs, and this is as important as sex education. After all, both sex and psychopathic desires have a common basis in genes and environment, so we can't help people with sexual desires and not with psychopathic desires. They didn't notice the signs, but it's fine because we didn't know about psychopathy until then. Now, we can learn from history and ensure that we don't repeat such mistakes again. I will try my best to create a society where no one suffers, no criminal, no victim, especially not for psychopathy or desires to kill or manipulate. I will show them that we can fix them, and I am astonished that some scientists don't seem to realize what is possible when you manipulate the brain - the organ that determines your whole perception of reality, traits, and abilities, disorders and experiences, and everything.
I am also astonished that people simp over unrealistic and boring superheroes and ghosts when, in real life, you have so many superpowers and "evil" suffering mental states much more interesting, mysterious, and complex. When you start reading and understanding the world, asking questions, and thinking about everything, you realize that the boring everyday things we overlook become much more interesting, and the earlier interesting stuff is now nonsensical babies' play, even harmful for babies and kids by enforcing stereotypes like good and evil. If you condition and brainwash kids to think in such good-evil simplistic categories, they grow up emulating heroes, and they think violence is the answer. This creates an inhumane and uncivilized society, truly like the work of an evil genius mad scientist, someone as cynic misanthropic as me. I am propagating the vicious cycle of making other people cynical and misanthropic. But if there was such a scientist, or even if it's chance, unfortunately for him, I'm just equally mad scientist, if not evil or genius. I am mad to bring about reform, and that's enough.
Regarding Dahmer's friend, I have to say that towards the end, when they asked him to do that mall spasms thing, it was clearly very cruel and inhumane. One of the three friends pointed out, "He's not a sideshow attraction, why don't you leave him alone," but they replied, "It's fun." Kids those days, and kids these days. He was getting wasted in the backseat with all the money they gave him, spending it all on getting drunk, yet they didn't even ask if he was fine. I was thinking that the person who wrote the graphic novel the movie was inspired by would be smarter than that, but I can understand how he would never have suspected the things that could have been prevented had he been more vigilant. I know he has learned his lesson and is trying to share the story through his talents, the novels that turned into movies, so I guess that's enough.
To be honest, I thought that the person who wrote the graphic novel that inspired the movie would be smarter than that. However, I can understand how he might not have suspected the things that could have been prevented had he been more vigilant. I know he has learned his lesson and is now trying to share the story through his talents, the novels that later turned into movies. So, I guess that's enough. He indirectly contributed to expanding my knowledge base about Dahmer, and I am going to use this knowledge to help such people and change society for the better. He has indirectly contributed to changing society and helping prevent future Dahmers before they commit any crimes, by promoting early detection and rehab.
I also liked how one kid in the group of three left them because he knew it was wrong to take advantage of someone who considered him a friend and was clearly mentally unstable and in urgent need of help. He didn't want to be involved in anything that could implicate him in any way. But then again, the 5-5 kids who gathered in the mall, all with money, to watch Dahmer spasm, maybe they too thought Dahmer enjoyed it without questioning why someone would enjoy making a fool out of himself. I don't expect those kids to think that much, as they were just enjoying the show and filming him.
When you expect everyone to be as logical and rational as you, you're bound to get disappointed. People will say you're acting superior and considering yourself more intelligent. But I have to tell them that I'm no better; I'm just different. I don't expect this much from kids or even society today because if I start expecting them to act according to my values of compassion, love, kindness, and empathy, then I would suffer a breakdown and never recover. So, I need to set lower expectations. I don't care if you think I'm being condescending because it's for my mental health. And because you all are not helping people who need it the most, selectively being loving to some people and ostracizing those who need it the most, I can't take it. I will be polite, considerate, and empathetic, but you will not stop me from questioning your beliefs and making you see how your actions and beliefs are causing real-world, preventable suffering not just to the Dahmers but also to all the future victims of future Dahmers.
In some ways, you are even more 'evil' and contemptible than the person you call 'evil' because they need help, and you don't help them. You are in the majority, and you are an instrument in their suffering and the suffering of all the victims. I'm not even asking you to change your mind, just to question your own beliefs and how you would act if you were anyone associated with Dahmer in any way. If you think that you would never harm any human and never want to be harmed, then you will almost certainly have to agree with my worldview. I have good reasons for my beliefs, but if you don't, then you don't need to agree with me. You just need to provide me with good logical reasons behind your beliefs.
I have arrived at an updated plan that can please everyone and break this negative cycle, and I am going to implement it soon. Even taking into account society, kids these days are probably just like kids in the past. I'm one of the kids these days, but I have never been so cruel to anyone in my school life. I have never even let anyone squash a bug, never shouted or picked fights, always polite and nice, compassionate, and empathetic even towards those who hurt my feelings.
However, it's important to note that not everyone may agree with my worldview or beliefs, and that's perfectly fine. The key is to have an open and respectful dialogue where we can learn from each other and challenge our own beliefs. In terms of the specific situation with Dahmer and the individuals involved, it's clear that there were many missed opportunities for intervention and prevention. It's important to address the root causes of why individuals may feel isolated and vulnerable, and provide resources and support to help them before they turn to harmful behavior. It's also crucial for society as a whole to be more compassionate and empathetic towards those who may be struggling with mental health issues or other challenges. Ostracizing or stigmatizing these individuals only serves to further isolate and harm them. Ultimately, it's up to each of us to do our part in creating a kinder, more supportive, and inclusive world. By being aware of our own biases and assumptions, and striving to treat others with empathy and respect, we can work towards preventing future tragedies like the ones involving Dahmer.
In the Jeff Dahmer mall scene, the concept of embracing absurdism to the extreme in an unhealthy way is evident. It can relate to feelings of depression and hopelessness, where an individual may not care about judgments or life, and nothing matters in the grand scheme of things. Mocking social norms for the sake of it can be a clear sign of emotional instability, yet the comic guy's expressions suggest he is slowly realizing it. However, it seems that no one is noticing it. It is not surprising that the comic guy is unfazed by Dahmer's behavior as that would not make Dahmer famous, and we would not be watching this movie.
While Dahmer's behavior is cruel, he did make up for it somewhat, and it's essential to have empathy for these ignorant and foolish kids too. The knowledge gained from behavioral science and the New York Times article on the 8-year-old psychopath shows that we are responsible for the future Dahmers, rapists, and murderers that could have been prevented if we acted sooner. Hence, I am working day and night, reading and writing, to ensure that we do not waste any more time.
Neil seems to be the only logical, rational person with a sense of morals in the movie. He did not join in the mall drama and even apologized to Dahmer on behalf of his friends, even though it was not his fault. Neil noticed that Dahmer was mentally unstable, and everyone was making fun of him. Even when Dahmer said it was good, Neil wasn't convinced. More people should be like Neil in the movie.
The details in the movie and comic about Neil's prom date are uncertain. Still, I hope the character tried his best and apologized to Dahmer, making him feel better, even if it did not transform him into who he became. This would have been unrealistic to expect. Dahmer used his wit and charm to manipulate the girl to be his prom date. When it wasn't working, he reframed the situation from her point of view, and she agreed to be his date. It is amusing and sad that his "friends" mocked him for not being able to get a prom date, which led him to try to get one, even though he wasn't heterosexual.
The actor portraying Dahmer is excellent in portraying the tension and awkwardness he felt when surrounded by people. It was uncomfortable to watch Dahmer unable to make eye contact with his date, making an excuse, and leaving the party. I could almost feel his relief and comfort at escaping such an intense social situation. It is understandable how social situations like this can cause anxiety, especially for people with high-functioning autism or Asperger's, which Dahmer may have had. He seemed to be smart enough to hide his condition to some extent and make excuses to avoid social interactions.
Finally, I hope that every kid in the West is grateful for the privilege of being able to become a comic artist and go directly to college art classes in the summer, just like Derf. I also hope that, in the future, no one will be forced to be part of society's rat race, such as engineering or medical fields, if they do not want to be.
Netflix Dahmer notes: He said, "I was born like this, and nothing that happened to me caused it. So, it's just nature, genetics, and early environment. Maybe even if he downplays the role of nurture, environment, and life circumstances, there are still strong genetic factors. This doesn't mean he was born evil. It just means he was born with certain impulses, desires, and intrusive thoughts, just like normal neurotypical humans have for love, the need for friendship, and sexual needs. It's true that he should have controlled it, but the fact is that no one noticed, no one helped, and he clearly could not control it. It's unrealistic to set unfair standards for someone who is born differently from you. You are able to call him evil and say he should not be helped because you never had to experience this yourself. If you were born with those genes, environment, and brain, I'm very certain - I always think in probabilities, but this is one of the rare instances where I'm as close to a hundred percent as it can get - if you were born in his genes and environment, I'm sure you would understand. So, it's your duty to help someone who, by accident of birth, random chance, blind luck, was born like that. I know they are not evil; their actions are evil. But before they get to the evil actions, they can be treated. With my idea, there would be no victims, no evil actions, and so no evil. It would be a safer, more humane, and accommodating society.
They can be helped by early detection and prevention. Then, there would be no evil actions, and everyone would be able to see how I convert everyone with those genes, even stronger predisposition than Dahmer, and turn them right with the right interventions, tools, and techniques. I just have the right specific ideas and methods in my mind - for example, interventional neurosurgery, psychiatry, psychopharmacology, brain-computer interfaces, and invasive neurotechnology, and other tools, less invasive. If they don't work, then we use more direct interventions. Otherwise, talk therapy, behavioral and psychological tools can be employed. I know they can be fixed, and then I'll make you all ashamed of how you labeled such people evil when they could, in fact, be not just functioning but highly successful members of society who contributed to it in productive ways.
I'll show how you all were even more 'evil' by your own standards, hypocrites by just focusing on punishment and not seeing how they could be helped and prevented, and how we could help the victims before it even takes place. In a way, we could be even more responsible than the criminal for the future victim whose life was spoiled because we didn't take action when we could have focused on early detection, rehab, and fixing them before they had their first kill and went down the negative, vicious, slippery slope."
He also said, "I could push it down," which shows it was the system 1 impulsive desires, intrusive thoughts, that part of the brain you cannot control. If you don't know what I'm talking about, please educate yourself and read "Thinking, Fast and Slow," or read my post on Courage. If you have done neither, don't you dare question me about something you not only have no knowledge of but also refuse to educate yourself about.
"If you have, I'd be happy to receive comments and know what you think. It was his System 1 which made it very hard for him to resist his desires. Everyone neurotypical, average, normal, healthy human doesn't have such problems. Their System 1 is ethical and abides by the moral code of ethics prevalent in society. But Dahmer was, in his own words paraphrased, 'born different,' and that sounds very true because his brain generated such thoughts and desires that made him mentally unstable and hard to live with until he had to succumb. Not even a desire, a need. Imagine what would happen if I take an extroverted social butterfly and put them in solitary confinement for three years. Guess what would happen to them at the end of three years? Or what if I take a high IQ child prodigy who likes mathematics and force them to study languages and history for the next five years, never letting them touch mathematics again, not once for five years at least? Guess what would happen? Or what if I pick up a passionate musician and break their musical instrument and force them to either do mathematics or torture them until they die? Guess what would happen? How many more examples do you need to understand that Dahmer was the same?
I can give you many more, infinitely more examples because I have an intuitive grasp of the System 1 and 2 distinction, and I know that just because you were born inclined in a certain way does not make you better or worse than anyone else. Just because you have thoughts that are socially unacceptable, you should be encouraged to share them. If Dahmer had sought help instead of being shunned by his friends who all abandoned him, mocked him, and made fun of him, he would have probably been a great surgeon or biologist.
Perhaps he would have won the Nobel Prize or made a few discoveries that would have helped humans and doctors. But now he was made to suppress those desires just because he was born with such a brain that didn't have ethics or love for music, but a love for killing and no internal moral compass. This is true for all sociopaths, so why should we not help them? If you were born with such brains and genes, would you like to have suffered from such desires and thoughts that would never let you sleep peacefully until you killed someone? Take any desire or need you have - social, food, career - and if we were to prevent you from following your passion or fulfilling your need, would you want that?
If you wouldn't, then you should agree that Dahmer and future Dahmers must be helped. I agree that what he did was very 'bad' and 'evil,' and I also agree that once he did it, he was punished as he should have been to satisfy revenge and closure - I even concede to that. I am even willing to agree that you can torture and kill him."
But I absolutely do not agree that he was evil since birth and nothing could change him. Even if he was, today we have technology and science that can achieve this. And this is possible, so with changing times, we need to change our outdated, irrational, unreasonable mindset that is causing great harm and suffering to humans, both victims and criminals.
I am even willing to agree that if someone commits a crime, then punish them. But at least please learn early detection, not just the legal and police and psychologists, but like sex education. Learn early detection, prevention, and rehab so this never happens in the first place. And I promise that I will make you see how "evil" people can be made into successful, accomplished people. And then I will not even take any argument like "they would never have been criminals anyway" because I will show you scientific evidence and logical arguments from their childhood instances and specific genes and brain processes and instincts.
And unless you don't believe in science or logic, in which case I have no interest in even convincing you, and you're already a lost cause, respect your preferences, but I have nothing to say to you if you don't believe in science. Then you would have to agree that they can.
Hell, just take me. I will show you being successful one day enough to have accomplishments that you cannot refute and deny my contribution to society. And I will show you all how my blog posts I published just a few days ago and still writing now similarities with not just Einstein, Tesla, Newton, but also Dahmer, Unabomber, and how my impulses give up everything but my morals my genes. I agree I now know that I could never do a Dahmer, but still, that's not my own praise that I was given genes by random chance that makes it easier for me to self-control and have a strong sense of morality, and Dahmer got genes that didn't make him? If I had slightly different genes, I would probably already be dead, and you'd not be reading this. I don't think that's desirable, unless you want me dead or not enjoying reading this, in which case I want you to spend your time on something more interesting or productive.
The psychiatrist just told Dahmer that the sexual arousal he experiences is called splanchnophilia, (same goes for necrophilia and every sexual desire that I agree should be repressed to some extent but not so much that you harm yourself go insane, you should be encouraged to seek help, just like sociopath has negative stigma, remove it for all such philias too as they are system 1 brain out of control brain and genes, and you need to get help, and those who say it's evil are themselves responsible for the crime even more 'evil' than the people who have it because they have it not under their control their genes or brains, and they should be comfortable open enough to seek help and get the support without fear of judgment or ostracized, understood and loved, humans after all, just because they're not heterosexual, even homo is acceptable now, when will we extend this to EVERY desire and impulse such that those that harm others, harm other animals are encouraged to get treatment, and those that don't harm other animals or humans are free to do what they want to do).
So there goes my guess, right on mark once again, at least in this topic. I think I have developed certain thinking tools aligned with science - cognitive empathy, determinism, system 1 and 2 thinking, and a few more - so I can give you logical reasons to be understanding towards everyone. Everyone deserves to be loved, and both victims and criminals can be helped before they are victims or criminals. We have the tools to detect them
Okay, within the span of one minute, there were three things that triggered me once again. I seriously can't watch for two minutes without coming back to my notes. Now, after I started at episode 4 and watched the summary of the previous ones a few months ago when I didn't take notes, Jeff says that he didn't apply to college because he is a failure. Even though he was good at science, he thought that good kids get good grades and stuff, so he didn't even apply to a community college. So the education system strikes again at such an unexpected place. But I have to keep in mind that all these social institutions are interconnected. I just realized that I might have been overlooking its significance. After all, that's where such kids are, in their early environment, and can be detected early before their traits harden. If you are more nerdy, when neuroplasticity drops after a certain age, in simple language, when traits are still shaping the brain and you are more malleable, and if the schools are good, we can detect such kids who are more isolated and find it harder to fit in (PTSD flashbacks from my own school life) and lonely and awkward and everything that could affect their mental health.
We could help them through psychological, behavioural, and philosophical tools, or more direct interventions like genetic brain neurotech if it's someone predisposed to be like Dahmer. We could help them catch them early and fix them so they can have fulfilling lives, be happy, not have to suffer for school and beyond, and not harm themselves or others. So I'm going to attack all the social institutions one by one, starting from the legal system of India to the world, then extending to medical and educational and the social family. Rest assured that you will be glad that you are alive at the same time as me. I'm going to create a society that's much better, safer, humane, and accommodating. I'm not being overly utopian or unrealistic. I'm being practical, feasible, and possible with current science and technology, and I'm going to make it happen, try my best as long as I'm alive. I promise I will help these people who could go on to be criminals, and JUST AS IMPORTANTLY, I will ensure that people know that they could have been criminals, the counterfactual. So when the crime rate drops, they NOTICE, AND IT'S IN HISTORY BOOKS, AND SOCIETY REMEMBERS AND NEVER FORGETS, PERHAPS FAIRY TALES LIKE GRIMM BROTHERS (I talk about this elsewhere), but society needs to remember how to prevent such crimes, help such people, and when society is fixed, I will never let anyone forget this so people don't get negligent and history repeats itself.
They need to remember history so they don't repeat the same mistakes, just like we need to remember the Nazi Germans and the Holocaust and world wars and Communist China and everything else. It should be a precautionary tale, a warning for all of humanity, to help us maintain a better society. Just like terrorists can brainwash and condition kids to do evil and think that killing people is good and not killing people or following Allah is evil, can't we condition kids to believe that kindness, compassion, understanding, and empathy are good? Why don't we do this already? Why are the "bad" people more advanced than us in this regard? And that's not enough. I'm going to extend my efforts to overpopulation, anesthesia, and much more. You would read my post title research interests and see my interests are all over the place, and I'm still a polymath and never going to give up on my interdisciplinarity- more on this elsewhere.
He tells his dad that he isn't normal and has done things. I'm not sure how much more specific he can be. On one hand, his dad is caring and wants him to have a future. Moreover, he's a scientist, so I would have guessed he'd be smarter than his son, but perhaps he had reasons. However, I'm not sure those reasons were enough justification for the crimes he committed. It was almost as clear as possible that he was trying to convey that something was wrong with him and asking for help, even begging for it. Yet, his father just shrugged it off. I should not talk about this any longer because I am sure that his father has already experienced enough regret, shame, and guilt after he found out what his son did. He still remembers this time and all the behavioral signs he missed, now so obvious in hindsight bias. He's writing a book that I will read soon, so it's fine. It can't be changed, and he has learned his lessons, I hope and like to think. Let's move on.
Like me, I have dropped out of college thrice. Yes, you read that correctly, three times. However, despite this setback, I still have motivation, passion for certain subjects, and ambitions. All I need is a good peer group and a supportive environment to succeed. I am determined to obtain a degree and excel in my studies. I am confident that I can become a straight-A student if I am able to study what I truly want, rather than being confined to the rigid Indian curriculum.
I am grateful that my parents have supported me throughout this journey, and I understand that not everyone has this privilege. I feel fortunate to have another chance to pursue my dreams, even though it means facing my own doubts and the doubts of others who might view me as a failure. Nevertheless, I am assuring them that I am capable of achieving great things. I plan to include these experiences in my transfer college application and LinkedIn post. I am determined to attend the world's most selective university and make a positive impact in the world.
Although I am not like Dahmer, and I have a strong sense of morals, I am aware that I may face mental health challenges if I am unable to achieve my goals. The fourth episode of the Dahmer series was particularly poignant, as it depicted Dahmer looking at old photos of his father and feeling inadequate. His grandmother's advice to find a girl was outdated, but I still believe she had good intentions and did the best she could with the limited resources available to her. Overall, I am committed to overcoming the obstacles in my path and achieving my goals, no matter how challenging they may be.
I apologize in advance, as what I'm about to say may upset some readers. Just like the popular clip of Jeff shouting at his grandma for throwing out his mannequin (which I believe can be found on YouTube), I sometimes struggle to control my anger and remain polite. Of course, I always try my best to remain calm and polite when interacting with people outside of my home, but sometimes I snap and quickly apologize. It's usually something out of my control that triggers me, like when my mom closes a tab on my phone while checking it, or when she turns a page of my notebook or removes a pen that I was using as a bookmark. These may seem like silly things, but they mess with my brain and I lose control. However, I always quickly apologize, as it's important to realize when you're wrong and make amends.
I used to think that I enjoyed exploring new places, meeting new people, and learning new things, and therefore I didn't think I had Asperger's.
But now I realize that I care about different things. I care deeply about my ideas and anything that messes with them feels like a personal offense to me. I don't attach myself emotionally to many things, but my ideas are different. If someone were to destroy all of my notepads, delete all of my word documents, physical backups, and even my cloud storage, it would be incredibly difficult for me to practice restraint and self-control. I don't think anyone should try to mess with me like that, even as a prank. You can criticize my ideas with logic and reason, and I would be more than happy to engage in that discussion, but you can't hurt me by destroying my notepads.
Sometimes when my mom slightly displaces my things, I react similarly to how Jeff reacted in that clip. My mom understandably gets irritated, but I quickly apologize. So, I can understand Jeff's anger, even though I'm not homosexual like he is. Jeff apologized as well, which is good. Though, I'm not sure if he's still a good boy considering what he did with that army guy before he got fired, but that's besides the point. I never use curses in front of my parents as I haven't reached that level of irrationality yet. My occasional outbursts of anger only happen 1 or 2 times a year.
"I just want a friend" is a deeply relatable line that strikes a chord in my psyche. Right now, I desperately need a friend, especially in real life, as I'm hoping to get into a good college with like-minded peers.
Okay, it's clear now that Jeff has already killed the jogger, so he's not such a good boy at this stage. Masturbating in a public fair is a clear indication of his lack of caring about anything, similar to the unhealthy and mentally unstable absurdist philosophers like Diogenes. I do some similar things to a lesser extent, but of course not masturbating in public (I find it disgusting for some reason). It's not necessarily unhealthy, but it can be emotionally draining, and I dislike it just like how I dislike the biological wetware that Dahmer likes.
Both Dahmer and I share an interest in biology, but while I dislike the wet and shiny aspects of biological wetware, I am drawn to emergent phenomena, abstract concepts, subjective experiences, cognitive processes, personal traits, higher-order executive functions, and the beauty, rigidity, rigour, and exactness of mathematical sciences with abstract, general principles that hold true universally. Applying these principles to biology allows me to learn more about human nature and the human condition, but it also means that I could never be a good surgeon.
Regarding a joke about being a vampire, I dislike sunlight, which makes me feel disoriented and dizzy, and I feel energetic at night. I often stay in the dark all day and jokingly refer to myself as a vampire. However, even as a hardcore vampire enthusiast, I cannot bring myself to drink blood. This is just a joke, and while I am a universal blood donor, I cannot donate as frequently as I would like due to ongoing medical issues.
My childhood experiences have shaped my self, ambitions, interests, and personality in significant ways, and while I am fortunate relative to many who have suffered more than I have, I cannot downplay my own suffering. Loneliness and social awkwardness are ongoing issues for me, and I am trying to be more outgoing and make friends. I know firsthand how soul-crushing loneliness and social isolation can be, and I do not want anyone to experience it. That is why I try to help people who seem genuinely lonely and depressed.
My notepad is no longer enough, and I need real friends. My mother does not understand the urgency, and I often annoy her by rambling on about my research interests, future goals, and what I have learned. However, I need to find real human connections, or I risk falling into a dreadful state of loneliness and depression. I do not want to think about it, but I must get out of my shell while I still have the time and energy to do so.
Okay, now I am mildly freaking out about my own brain. They asked him why he wanted to dig up that dead body, and he said he just wanted to lie with him. The officers asked him to explain, and he said he wanted him to watch a movie with him and to control him. He said, "Everyone is always telling me what to do." His family, grandma, parents, everyone - and I was speechless because that's me. Everyone is telling me to conform, which is why I'm socially isolated, but even my own family. I think I explained this incident elsewhere, where my mom and my aunt are constantly bugging me with small stuff like how to eat and how well-lit my room should be. I write about that in great detail in this post or another post, the incidents, and that domineering cousin who snatched my notepad away - another incident I describe in "Confessions," I think. It's always happening - people telling me what to do or what not to do. "You are too young and can't do research" - age and credentials - it's now a habit. I'm used to rebuke backlash, and I still listen to everyone to make a well-informed decision, but now it's hard to discourage me, and I have initiated several projects. Despite initial backlash, I've proved them wrong. And my mom is always telling me to play games, watch television, movies, socialize, make friends - though I think I should socialize, but not with the type of kids who are normal. I mean, I have no interest in stuff most kids these days are interested in, and I don't have time and mental energy to waste on them. Life is short, and I have limited time, and I need to make the most out of it.
And I can't live at peace with myself if I spend too much time on entertainment distractions, as if I myself have plugged into Nozick's machines, as you'd know if you read my other posts. It's like I never felt like controlling them, not like that, not like Dahmer, but I do wish that they can just shut up and let me do what I want to do, especially when it's about personal preferences and respecting my different worldview and opinions and differences.
Just listen to me and try to understand me. I need someone who just gives me a chance to make myself understood, someone I can relate to, and I have never met a single person like that in real life, a few online, but very few, and I don't trouble them, don't share much, though I'm more at peace being more like myself. I am not nearly my real self there, not like in my blog, for instance. Even my blog is just what can be expressed in words because what goes on in my mind is far too complex to express it all in words. I just try to find the nearest possible approximation that sounds right, and there are things that instead of my limited vocabulary are caused by subjective states that can't be described in math, let alone English.
So it's the same problem as Dahmer, just a different way of dealing with it. As I said, if Dahmer had a stronger sense of morality due to his upbringing and genes, the situation might have been different. However, I just realized that I am actively working on control, but controlling something much greater than what Dahmer wanted. He was being realistic, but I am more ambitious and trying to control all the external factors that influence our decisions, genes, brain, and society itself. It's one of my top priority research questions, and I can't believe I forgot about it. While Dahmer had a realistic change, my probability of achieving my goals is less likely because it's more complex. I'm even trying to work on controlling life itself, genes, brain, traits, and abilities. I believe I will succeed, even if it means trying until I die. Moving on, regarding the officers interrogating him, they are doing quite well, trying to understand without judgment. However, I believe I can do better.
The behavioral cues that the officers miss could make the psychopath less likely to share everything. They lack some cognitive empathy, and their behavior is giving them away, especially the black officer. At one time, he included subjective value judgments when he knew this man had killed so many people. It's understandable and justified, but it's not becoming of an officer trained in psychology and behavioral science. I hope they have received proper training before interrogating such a psychopath. I know I can do better, and I respect these officers. I do realize that it could be much harder in real life, but I don't need to wait much longer to find out. In a few years, I'll be dealing with such people, not as the psychopath, but as someone who can witness interrogations in person. I might request a few forensic psychiatrists or psychologists to give me a chance.
Returning to the jogger guy, I previously mentioned that he might not be a good person since he has killed two people. However, I have now learned that the killings were accidental, and we cannot accuse him of murder. This complicates things because psychopaths are skilled at manipulation, deception, and charm, and we may never know for sure if Dahmer actually killed the first two victims accidentally, even if he claims he did.
It is important to consider intentions, but we cannot reliably measure them, even with lie detector machines, intuition, or current technology. Until we can measure intentions, which may not be possible for several decades, my current plan is to focus on prevention and early detection to avoid the first killing. If someone does kill, regardless of their intentions, they can be punished if the victim's family and friends seek closure or revenge, which is likely. If I encounter someone who doesn't seek revenge, I will be surprised.
In my opinion, if someone does kill accidentally, they should be rehabilitated and given a second chance, but we cannot reliably measure intentions, so it is better to focus on prevention and early detection. In the future, I am optimistic about gene engineering, neurotech, and other tools that can fix psychopathy, but this may take several decades to achieve.
Did he drink to suppress his urges and desires or to make it easier for him to suppress his morals and commit murder? If I had to make an educated guess, I would say both. Initially, when he was still a "good boy" and had not yet started killing people, he began drinking to suppress and bottle up his emotions. However, as time passed, his drinking spiraled out of control, and I realized that the alcohol's inhibitory stupor may have played a role in making it worse. The very thing he used to suppress his desires could have weakened his self-control and led to the murders. After that, it just became a habit, and it got easier every time. That's my theory.
Oh no, wow! This is unbelievable, did you hear what he said? "I took them downstairs, drugged them unconscious and made sure they were unconscious, and then strangled them because I did not want them to suffer." I mean, that is unexpected, completely unexpected. And now, I'm going to say something controversial yet perfectly logical, backed up by evidence I can show you. Despite Dahmer's heinous crimes, he acted more humanely than society as a whole, even in the way society acted towards him and other criminals.
In earlier times, there was capital punishment, public execution, and people being fed to wild animals or crushed under elephant legs. Today, in my country, the law is corrupt, judges are corrupt, and people take matters into their own hands. Mob lynching and public encounters are seen as acceptable, and hanging to death causes a lot of suffering. We are moving backward as a society, especially in my country.
No one sees that when you start breaking the law, even if the law is corrupt, there is a possibility of a slippery slope where you become less humane. While other countries focus on human rights and more humane treatment of criminals, we're moving towards the opposite end. If you think that such criminals deserve pain, I have good logical reasons to tell you why they deserve punishment but not suffering, even when they have made victims suffer. However, I won't go into those reasons here.
I have more evidence from the Supreme Court and UN humanitarian law that I could show you if you need it, but I won't get into it now. I like Dahmer, and I'm tired of pretending I don't. I'm not glamorizing him, absolutely not. What he did was wrong, even by my belief in moral anti-realism. If it had happened to me or my family, I would feel angry, and I know it's very wrong. But we need to understand the person, their brain, and genes, who made them who they were. We need some empathy so we can detect future Dahmers and prevent it before it's too late, help them before they commit their first kill, and it becomes impossible to stop them. If they become criminals and are labeled 'evil,' it's almost impossible to avoid a death penalty.
You know what? I feel really strange right now, conflicted, because I believe that suffering is bad, and even though death is okay, suffering is still bad. Dahmer didn't make anyone suffer, so what happened to him seems wrong, as he was the one who suffered. But okay, I resolved this query. As always, my brain answered my own question by rationalizing using logic and language. My brain never disappoints, at least not yet, in this regard.
The solution is that Dahmer indirectly caused suffering to the loved ones of the deceased, and so he did cause suffering. Despite his best intentions, the best solution would have been for him to not have killed anybody. But you know what's funny? Depressed people are often told to just go out and enjoy life because it's wonderful, but they don't understand that it's not under their control. You can't just get out of bed no matter how hard you try if you have a serious kind of extreme depression. Similarly, with me, everyone always tells me what I should do. They tell me not to write so much, not to have so many ideas, but I have to tell them that the ideas just occur to me. I can't stop them from happening, and I need to write them. I need my notepad with me at all times, and I can't leave my notepad. I need to write whenever the idea occurs, and my brain won't leave me alone until I do. I describe this in detail in my post about Asperger's, and also elsewhere, about incidents that almost drove me crazy. I was going to snap badly on my cousin for stealing my notepads, but I got it just in time, and I'm glad I was able to control my ideas and hold them in my head using some advanced mnemonic techniques that I describe elsewhere. Else, I would have been irrational and beaten up by my strong, well-built cousin. I need my ideas, and I need my notepad, and no one takes away my notepad without my consent. That's the only thing that has the ability to trigger me, though I still always aim to show empathy, compassion, kindness, and politeness. But it gets hard when someone steals my notepads.
In case all these examples weren't enough, homosexuals were told to go to church and Jesus would fix their homosexuality, when it doesn't work like that. And then there's autism. My doctor told me to just go out and socialize more and give me meds, but I'm glad I didn't take them. My mom also tells me to make some friends, but it doesn't work like that. I don't want to. Just like that, Dahmer had these urges, and everyone is like, "He could have controlled them." Well, no, it doesn't work like that. It's like telling a lonely person to go out and make friends or a depressed person to be happy and cheerful because they're being ungrateful for this wonderful life. Yes, it works, but not for extreme cases like psychopathy and mental disorders that cannot be cured by sheer will, even assuming free will is true, or even simple behavioral or psychological talk therapy. That's why my plan integrates neuroscience tools, interventions, and various disciplines.
Actually, wait, I have changed my mind. Dahmer did indirectly cause a lot of suffering to the close ones of the victims, and it doesn't matter practically anyway because he is unfit for reentry into society. People won't accept him back, so even if he didn't make anyone suffer, it makes no significant difference, and I just realized that.
Okay, I think I'm being too detailed and unrealistic. Also, about the point on officers, it's much better than in my own country where once you're captured, you're not even heard or listened to that much. I mean, you do get heard, but I'm thinking it was just high expectations and an unrealistic frame of reference. They're actually doing a great job because they didn't even need to understand him at all. Once he confessed and had the evidence, they could just do whatever they wanted with him without trying to understand him, so they did good if you look at it from that perspective. I am biased, and this is why I need people to share their views and comments about my ideas. I'm trying to be unbiased and objective, rational and logical, but I'm human too, and I want a solution that prevents crimes and helps such people before things go south, before the first kill, after which it's almost a lost cause. But I need other external observers to critique my ideas too. For this reason, just like how I missed this officer thing, which is relatively insignificant, the same thing could occur at a higher level. I may be mistaken in my ideas too, which are more important and have higher stakes.
He claims he's not insane, and he may be correct, but the issue with psychopaths is that it's complicated. They might seem honest when admitting to hearing voices, but they could also use that to their advantage. Psychopaths can mix truths with lies and tell the truth where people expect them to lie, all while manipulating others. They could say they didn't intend to kill the first two victims, but this could be a lie. I'm not saying this is the case, but anything is possible with sociopaths. Just because I advocate for helping them doesn't mean I'm unaware of their ability to manipulate others with their charm, wit, and deceit.
I'm not one of those fools who idolize killers like Ted Bundy or send them love letters. I agree that they need empathy and understanding, but those who glamorize them are just doing what the killer wants and making it harder for those of us who advocate for a more balanced approach. Likewise, people who fake having a disability or use positive discrimination laws to their advantage make it harder for those who genuinely belong to that community.
Those who glamorize killers are just as dangerous as those who completely disregard the external factors that led to the crimes. Both extremes are wrong, and we need to think about the best solution that integrates both approaches. This is important because it involves real-life suffering for both potential victims and potential criminals. We need to keep the feelings of the victims in mind and think about how they would feel if their loved ones were one of the victims. It's essential to acknowledge that the actions are evil, but the person can be fixed with help, understanding, empathy, and neuroscience. Anything is possible with enough knowledge of neuroscience.
In my personal opinion, those who glamorize violence in movies, TV shows, and video games are even more foolish than those who glamorize killers. Emulating or mimicking the glamorizers is beyond my comprehension. Just because someone looks good, acts witty, and charming doesn't mean they're not a convicted psychopath. Labeling people as evil and immutable is not helpful. They can be fixed with the right support and understanding.
Now, the fact that the police missed the criminal so many times, despite his record, and the corrupt judge in the case, makes me believe that the law in my country is corrupt. I am against this biased system where judges do not follow the law and justice. However, I won't delve into the normative theory of justice, involving subjective value judgments, as that would require a separate post and a lot of books. All I want is for the law to be as close to justice as possible, and for all professionals associated with the law to follow that. I don't want them to say things like "today is your lucky day, and you don't seem like a person who belongs in the correction system."
I really like how several times throughout the show, Jeff's father catches his son bluffing without giving him a chance to speak. His father detects that Jeff is lying, and he's always right about it, at least in the show. I believe that it's possible to use subtle behavioral, psychological, and linguistic tools to detect such people, even if they are master manipulators. They are humans with human brains, and no one is perfect. The behavioral sciences have advanced enough to detect such signs, subtle signs that a non-expert might miss.
I also have another interesting idea- emulating consciously coming up with general principles algorithms by noticing how psychopaths themselves read other people's behavior through observation. We can even do this with Aspies, as they have to consciously and deliberately learn social skills. That's why most of them seem to be good at maths. My idea can work with neurofeedback, AI biomarkers, and CV, using Aspies, as they are less likely to manipulate or deceive compared to psychopaths.
I must clarify that despite what might have been mentioned in my previous post "Schrodinger's Cat," I'm not good at mathematics. I am socially awkward and suffer from self-doubt, but my brain sometimes surprises me, and I underestimate myself a lot.
I know it may not be humorous, but it's actually quite funny to imagine doing something that would make your father more comfortable, like finding porn magazines, than what you're actually trying to hide. It's relatable to me in a way, even though I don't enjoy that kind of content either. I dislike wasting time and never watch porn, as it's a personal preference and I find it disgusting. However, I find the similarity in the sense that I try to explain complex philosophical or neuroscience theories to my mother, sharing my research interests, goals, and even blog posts I've written. My mother gets annoyed with me and asks why I can't talk about normal things like girls or easy-to-understand topics. She has even teased me about girlfriends in the past, even though I don't care about those things. Now, she doesn't ask anything for fear that I might start rambling about my obsessions and passions that she doesn't understand, which can give her a headache. So, I turn to my notepads instead, and for now, it's working just fine.
I like how the father in the show questions himself and wonders if his actions contributed to his son's behavior, such as his interest in taxidermy and staying in the marriage. He recognizes that he probably failed to detect the early signs of his son's behavior, but he is also being too harsh on himself. Although a better, supportive childhood could have helped save lives, the genetic aspect is equally, if not more important than the nurturing upbringing part. The psychological aspect of behavior is influenced by biology and cannot be neglected.
In another conversation I had with my cousin, we talked about language bias and how judges can favor certain languages. However, I won't delve deeper into this topic due to reasons outlined in the 'meta post.'
A meme I saw recently made me realize that, just as "taxidermy" could be called "archeology," grave robbing could also be given a more academic-sounding name. The meme posed the question: How long does a body need to decompose before it's considered archeology instead of grave robbery?
Interestingly, Dahmer came out of jail in great shape, claiming he exercised and read every day. Today I learned that I'm essentially living in a prison. I'm just kidding, though, as I'm well aware that I have it much nicer than many others who are less fortunate than me. However, the fact remains that I'm not exercising these days and spend most of my time reading and writing in my small room. If Dahmer did the same thing all day, then our situations are quite similar, with the only difference being that he had social interaction and exercise, while I do not. This makes me realize that I need to improve my situation soon and fix it fast. This is definitely something to think about.
It's also interesting to note that Dahmer never received any psychological help. He once said, "I got to be alone, kept to myself. That was the best part." I can definitely relate to that feeling.
"How are you going to break into the modeling biz? You're black, gay, and deaf," someone said. "I have always been like this and never let them hold me back, so I won't let them hold me back now," the person replied. I felt that. Suddenly, I could see where this was going, and I didn't like it. I've seen this scene before, but I know that life is short, and I am a man who needs to be independent. I am running towards my dreams. Even though I live with my parents, who tell me to stay in the city and never go abroad, I am applying everywhere, and I have dreams.
The series did an excellent job of depicting both Dahmer and at least one of the victims' backstories. I feel goosebumps, and I hate it. I still stand by everything I said about Dahmer, but I hate how society can be so unfair. I'm already a misanthropic cynic who tries to suppress such thoughts because I genuinely believe that there is some good, and human society can change. This person was different from me, in a different society and everything, yet so eerily similar. Both this victim, the deaf man, and Dahmer, I mean, it's not been shown he's a victim yet, but there are strong hints, we'll see. Same with Dahmer, by the way. I never would have guessed I'd be able to relate to someone on such a personal level, both this deaf black gay man who has ambitious dreams, and Dahmer.
At least now no one can call me biased in favor of only Dahmer because even though I felt bad for the victims earlier, it's now got as personal as Dahmer, with this deaf black gay man who has ambitious dreams, and this little 19-year-old aspie who's dropped out twice already. From a society where even one gap year is taken to mean you're a failure, and no one knows what Asperger's is, I have ambitious dreams despite the low chances. It wasn't more than a week earlier that my cousin accused me of trying to run away from family when I told them that I might need to go to the States because that's where neurolaw and social and decision neuroscience are somewhat active fields, non-existent in my own country, and for my dreams, I will have to get out of my comfort zone.
After the incident with the scientific publication and the conversation with their mother, the idea of being harmed by another human became all the more tragic for them. Despite being naturally compassionate and kind, they realized the importance of being more mistrustful and cynical towards the cruel world they live in. They preferred the realm of ideas, logic, reason, and human nature, rather than the physical aspects of humanity, as Dahmer did. Their goal was to help people through their work, indirectly or directly, without too much social interaction, as it makes them uncomfortable. They plan to keep a safe distance but contribute to society through their ideas and research, much like Dr. Karl Friston, another fellow aspie.
I was overjoyed when he landed that job, despite all the rejections he faced due to his deafness. The person who hired him, who happened to have a deaf sister and knew sign language, shared in his excitement and the two of them made gestures of happiness that warmed my heart. However, I couldn't forget the looming sense of where this storyline was headed. Thankfully, it wasn't as bad as I had feared, at least not yet. Jeff appears to be a decent guy, and it seems that true love may have had a positive impact on him. His actions are making me believe that he has turned his life around, even though I know what he did in the past. I am now curious to see what brought about this transformation. For a moment, I'll try to forget about Jeff's past actions and enjoy the story of this seemingly reformed good boy. I hope that the series doesn't introduce plot twists just to build suspense, but instead stays true to real-life events.
This is truly heart-wrenching. On the positive side, two of the most relatable characters in this series unexpectedly formed a close bond, which I never saw coming. However, upon reflection, it makes sense - birds of a feather do indeed flock together, and this is a common finding in social psychology. It's great to see Jeff find such a good friend. But it's heartbreaking to see how his psychopathic desires are urging him to mix that stuff in the drinks or use a hammer. He wants complete power and control, which is a trait of psychopaths, to manipulate people.
However, this person truly seems like he wants a buddy to cuddle with and understand him, and I can understand how lonely it feels to not have a friend like that. It must feel both happy and sad for him to realize that he's going to leave. Despite this, he's still doing all the 'right' things and making Jeff feel good, keeping him in control. So both of them are doing their best, and Jeff seems to be improving. I would have loved to believe that this was the happily ever after, but unfortunately, the very description of the damn series and everyone talking about it has given away what's going to happen.
However, the show managed to build this suspense and emotional rollercoaster, and I was still able to immerse myself in the show and experience all the emotions. The actors and everyone who made this did an admirable job. "He's eating him" - well, technically speaking, it's just a redistribution of matter, and he's simply eating matter regardless of all the diseases that could come with cannibalism. But yes, it's kind of gross because I don't have splanchnophilia, and for neurotypicals inclined that way, it's kind of unethical.
This is truly heart-wrenching. On the positive side, two of the most relatable characters in this series unexpectedly formed a close bond, which I never saw coming. However, upon reflection, it makes sense - birds of a feather do indeed flock together, and this is a common finding in social psychology. It's great to see Jeff find such a good friend. But it's heartbreaking to see how his psychopathic desires are urging him to mix that stuff in the drinks or use a hammer. He wants complete power and control, which is a trait of psychopaths, to manipulate people.
However, this person truly seems like he wants a buddy to cuddle with and understand him, and I can understand how lonely it feels to not have a friend like that. It must feel both happy and sad for him to realize that he's going to leave. Despite this, he's still doing all the 'right' things and making Jeff feel good, keeping him in control. So both of them are doing their best, and Jeff seems to be improving. I would have loved to believe that this was the happily ever after, but unfortunately, the very description of the damn series and everyone talking about it has given away what's going to happen.
However, the show managed to build this suspense and emotional rollercoaster, and I was still able to immerse myself in the show and experience all the emotions. The actors and everyone who made this did an admirable job. "He's eating him" - well, technically speaking, it's just a redistribution of matter, and he's simply eating matter regardless of all the diseases that could come with cannibalism. But yes, it's kind of gross because I don't have Splanchnophilia, and for neurotypicals inclined that way, it's kind of unethical.
This comment that 'for what I did I should be dead' is another one of those statements that people might take to imply that he was born evil and knew he was doing wrong. While I agree that he probably knew he was doing wrong, he was not born evil but rather with certain genes. This show did a great job illustrating how people in real life struggle with these impulses and desires that psychologists and psychiatrists are familiar with. It's high time we offer help to individuals before they commit their first murder.
The landlord said, "You came too late." But even if the authorities had responded the first time she alerted them, it would have still been too late. The right time to intervene would have been during his childhood days when he exhibited strange behavior and experienced traumatic events. By the time he arrived at the apartment, it was already too late to make a significant difference, even though some lives could have been saved. It was beyond the point of no return, and even if he could have been helped, it would have been impossible because of the need for closure and justice for the victims and their loved ones. This is why it is crucial to catch individuals before their first kill, preferably during their childhood days. He was not born evil or a monster. Evil is a subjective value judgment, and it is possible to dismiss it using moral anti-realism. However, harming someone is wrong, and so I believe he became evil and a monster only after his first kill. The key is to help and fix these individuals before they commit their first offense.
I initially thought that my comments were already too long, so I refrained from commenting on Glenda's episode. However, I like Lionel's character, and he expresses the same beliefs that I hold. I had known from the news before I started watching the series that he was strictly against glamourizing Dahmer, even to the extent of suing Netflix. But now, based on what they showed, Lionel seems like someone who thinks logically and has some sort of moral compass. Even though it may be biased in favor of his son, he recognizes that his son is "sick." Finally, he has realized how sick his son is. He still believes that his son can be "treated," which is exactly what I think too.
Even after someone commits so many crimes, I believe that we can treat them, but should we? I believe the answer is yes, but I can guess that most people reading this, and the whole human neurotypical society that thinks emotionally, would say no. I have to agree that those who say no are somewhat justified, ONLY if they actively try to detect such behavior and help such people before they commit their first kill. If it's the same people who label such individuals as "evil" and then stigmatize, ostracize, and show selective compassion, kindness, and empathy, and do not understand the factors that compel them to kill, then I am against that belief and would like to have a word with them.
However, I have changed my mind two weeks ago, and I no longer advocate for everyone to be like Lionel, who thinks that even after killing more than 15 people and eating them, his son can be treated. Although he can be treated, I don't think people would let him live in peace again in society, and he might just be better off dying a painless death. I am open to changing my mind about a "peaceful" and "painless" death, but I currently believe in it, and I would like to know if anyone else thinks differently. Just detect the sick and ill people early and treat them early. But now, after killing so many people, it's hard for Dahmer to live a fulfilling life, and the downsides might outweigh any pleasure, so just put him to death, as he himself said when he was first arrested. He used "should," a normative belief dependent on subjective value judgments, so it's slightly different, but it's similar.
Setting aside my personal preference of never marrying or having children, I can imagine having a son with unconventional interests and hobbies. Perhaps he has a budding interest in surgery, likes to slice up animals and study their biology using microscopes, and has a strong interest in animal taxonomy. Despite societal norms, I could be a good father who supports and nurtures his interests, giving him an edge and a bright future in biology or surgery. I wouldn't try to control his interests, as he is already having a difficult and lonely childhood, and I want him to have something meaningful to occupy his time and energy. Who knows, maybe his interest in killing roadkill will lead him to become a great biologist someday. It's hard to imagine that this little kid, my own son, would one day do what he did. However, years later, the first thing he uses to explain himself is the roadkill incident, and it's at that moment that Lionel's emotional reaction and loss of control resonates with me. I can relate to his feeling of being a good parent who never taught their child such things and only ever had concerns for their well-being. Of course, I'm not claiming to know what was going through Lionel's mind, but it's possible. I won't know for sure until I read his book.
Okay, so I already knew this, but listening to Lionel Dahmer once again describe all the pills his wife was on - oh my - it was just as he puts it, “she didn’t leave him with any chance”. With all those pills and a traumatic childhood, it would have been miraculous - even without being a doctor or psychologist, I can tell - if he didn't harm others, he could never have lived a happy life anyway. This is so messed up, can you imagine? Being born into a family where your only mother is a drug addict, always on pills, a chain smoker who believes in UFOs, an impulsive buyer, and a tense household. You take on something interesting as your hobby, and then, in addition to the family situation, you enter the educational institution, another important character of the play. In school, you get bad grades, you are unable to socialize - you have no idea how challenging it is to stay motivated. This is part of the reason why I got an IQ test, although I'm not a permanent member of WEF, and I have an Asperger's diagnosis.
It all makes sense and gives me confidence. Some experts say Dahmer also had Asperger's, and I can clearly see the signs in the movie, which I assume is an accurate representation of his behavior. Now, onto the family part. I don't understand how someone can have a child and then abandon them. This is another part of society that sucks, and it's one of the reasons why I dislike human society (maybe part 1042984987987, reason 9248729847 - I know these numbers are arbitrary and maybe a bit dramatized, but it's still a lot more than you might imagine). It's taking just as much energy to not turn into a cynical misanthrope as it is to remain confident that I'm not insane, I'm just different, and I might have the ability to achieve my goals and dreams after all. But imagine being born to such parents and then getting abandoned, with a constantly high mother and an immediate environment that's not exactly nurturing. I'm going to come to this soon, very soon. Simple solutions like parenting licenses won't work, as we have to avoid being labeled as eugenicists. However, I will make sure that children are only born to parents who have a good probability of not passing on life-crippling illnesses or disorders, and who are emotionally, cognitively, and financially secure enough to support the child. Of course, we must also take into account the poverty gap.
Great to hear Lionel Dahmer recounting similar experiences and fantasies to his son, though to a lesser extent. It makes sense that at least a fraction of the traits were inherited from his parents, and it seems like his father was aware of it despite not having all the knowledge about genetics and epigenetics that we have today. While it's understandable that someone might want to have a child despite the risks, it's important to consider the potential difficulties and impact on the child's life. It's admirable that you have empathy for both criminals and victims and seek to understand their perspectives, and psychological introspective practices could be helpful for future parents in making informed decisions about having children.
I completely agree with the Reverend. They are focusing on the police part, but I'm thinking further back. They're discussing how they could have caught Dahmer after he had killed a few but before he killed too many, whereas I'm thinking about how we could have, as a society, prevented him and helped him before he ever committed a crime. We could have treated him, fixed him, or whatever you want to call it, before his first kill, much earlier in his school days so he wouldn't have had to suffer so much, and there would have been no victims. That's what my idea could make possible. The police were too late, and the Reverend is calling for action to make them act earlier, but with my idea, there's no need for police at all because there is no crime at all, and we fix such people before such things happen.
The concepts of "fixing," "treating," "good," and "bad" are subjective and based on individual value judgments, as I have repeatedly stated. However, my own morals are not bound by ethics, emotions, or intuition, but rather by cold logic. The only criterion for my morals is that no one should suffer due to factors beyond their control, such as genetics, environment, or luck. This includes both victims and perpetrators like Dahmer, who was predisposed to his actions due to a combination of genetics, environment, and chance. However, it is possible to prevent such actions by addressing these underlying factors.
The behavior of the police, who refuse to take responsibility for their actions and are more concerned with their own interests than those they are sworn to protect, is reminiscent of what I have heard about Indian lawyers. These individuals manipulate and shape the law to suit their own needs and interests, and are virtually untouchable. Sadly, this seems to be a common trait among those in positions of power and responsibility, including the police and legal institutions that are supposed to safeguard society. This is a pathetic state of affairs, and those responsible must apologize and take steps to improve their behavior and learn from their mistakes.
One possible way to objectively test integrity and ethical behavior would be to administer psychological tests and brain scans, among other things. However, in the meantime, we must take action as a society to hold those who have committed wrongdoing accountable and responsible for their actions. If the police officers in question refuse to accept responsibility and demonstrate a willingness to learn and improve, then they should be fired. I agree with the Reverend on this point. It is alarming that these officers do not even acknowledge that they have done anything wrong, and in some ways seem more sociopathic than Dahmer himself. At least Dahmer expressed remorse for his actions and acknowledged that he deserved punishment. It is absurd and ridiculous that these officers refuse to do the same.
Wow. It seems like everyone wants Dahmer dead because they don't understand why he did what he did, except for his father, who can't support the death penalty because it doesn't exist in Milwaukee. But I think Dahmer himself also wanted to die because he knew that even if he were somehow miraculously treated as his father hoped, he would never be accepted into civilized society again. He was a victim of his genes and environment, and I believe he knew that death was the only way out, much less painful and more peaceful than any alternative.
I'm not necessarily against the death penalty, even if someone can be treated. But for someone like Dahmer who won't be accepted back into society, at least a painless death would be better than continued suffering. However, my main belief is that prevention and peaceful rehabilitation should be the focus, even before the first kill, so that no one has to suffer. This is an interesting and somewhat amusing situation, if it weren't for the numerous victims involved. Lionel suggests that they should convince the judge that Dahmer is insane, but Dahmer disagrees and claims he's not insane. However, I disagree with Dahmer on this point. Lionel believes that by pleading insanity, they can find a legal loophole to help Dahmer, but I strongly believe that Dahmer was truly insane. Let me explain my definition of insanity: it's a mental illness that causes suffering, makes life difficult, and leads to suicidal thoughts or tendencies. In Dahmer's case, not only would his life be better if he were dead, but it would also be better for others he was planning to kill. As he himself admitted, he knew what he was doing was wrong and tried to control it, but he was unable to resist his impulsive desires and intrusive thoughts.
I agree with Glenda's suggestion of building a park memorial in memory of the victims. I also hope that the Christian inmate with psychiatric issues was given a peaceful death or at least isolated from other prisoners. Given his history and stature, he has shown himself incapable of living with other inmates without posing a threat to them. Ideally, he should have received psychiatric care, but still, it would be best if he was kept isolated or hospitalized in a separate psychiatric ward or asylum. Such facilities are designed for people like him who cannot simply reenter society and require constant supervision and surveillance due to their mental illness. He admitted that he still experiences those compulsions and apologized, but why? Is it just to gain sympathy, or did he do it because he knew that people would expect him to deny it and he wanted to deceive them and generate more sympathy? Or perhaps he is telling the truth? Regardless, the fact remains that he was unable to control his compulsions, and we can only rely on his subjective accounts of his own actions.
Similar to Dan Ariely's book on dishonesty, the section on slippery slope and rationalization in the psyche article, and evidence presented in this documentary, more research is needed on sexual predators. Dahmer himself admitted that it became easier for him after his first kill, which is a common pattern seen in sexual predators. Even if we assume that he drugged his victims to make them feel no pain, it doesn't excuse the suffering he indirectly caused to their loved ones. This suffering was likely greater than if he had only victimized one person and made them suffer directly. Although I'm just guessing conservatively, my point is that Dahmer isn't significantly different from other serial killers who inflict suffering on their victims. When we put all the pieces of the puzzle together, it becomes clear that Dahmer's actions fit the profile of a sexual predator.
It is uncertain whether the future pleasure that the victims could have experienced and their contribution to society outweighs the net negative impact caused by their premature death. It is possible to argue, if one were to defend Dahmer, that his victims were saved from the future social problems such as global warming and capitalism, and that their suffering may have outweighed any potential pleasure they could have experienced. Additionally, one could argue that the victims may have already been depressed or suicidal and Dahmer's actions may have helped them. It is even possible to argue that Dahmer prevented future actions that could have led to catastrophic events, but such claims are outrageous and against my own moral beliefs.
My point is that the victims could have lived fulfilling lives, and we assume they could have had a choice to end their lives. But they never got that choice, and it's not an excuse to force them to die at a young age and cause great suffering to their families. Even though it's true that nothing matters in the grand scheme of things and everyone dies eventually, it's still immoral to cause harm and make beings suffer. Anyone with a moral code that forbids harming others would agree with me, but I'm open to changing my mind. What Dahmer did was evil and wrong, but he himself was not evil. He could have been rehabilitated before his first kill and reintegrated into society to contribute positively. However, society failed to notice, and now the least we can do is learn from our mistakes and prevent similar tragedies in the future.
In other words: , I realized that even assuming that he’s telling the truth when he says that he drugged the victims before making them suffer so they don’t feel anything doesn’t excuse him from the suffering he indirectly caused to the victim’s close ones, which was much greater than if he had victimized one person and made him suffer- not I’m just roughly guessing here which is why I took just a very conservative guesstimate of one, but my point is that just because he didn’t make them suffer doesn’t make him too significantly different from other serial killers, as that distinction between process killers elsewhere.
Also, the future pleasure that could have been had and the contribution to society by the victims and it’s uncertain the net positive outweighs the net negative and again if you were someone defending Dahmer, you could even say that they were saved from the state of society and world in the future all the social problems global warming capitalism and stuff so the suffering would probably have outweighed the pleasure and that they could have been suicidal or depressed- high-functioning- already and Dahmer only helped them, you could also say that by killing them he somehow prevented actions that could through a butterfly effect have given rise to the next Hitler who will now not exist, or something, using words and psychology and logic, but I won’t make such outrageous claims as I’m not defending Dahmer and also because I know that’s not right, according to my own morality.
But still my point is that they could have lived fulfilling lives, and we assume that they could, and they never got to choose if they want to end it, even though it’s simply non-existence now, and nothing matters in the grand scheme of things, and everyone dies one day, and moral antirealism and stuff, but it’s no excuse to just force them to die at such a young age and cause such great suffering to their family, and anyone with morals that compels them to do no harm and not make any being suffer would have to agree with me, though I’m open to changing my mind, What he did was evil, wrong, bad, but he was not evil, his actions were, and he could have been fixed before he got his first kill and be reinstated into society and contributed to it and helped other people, but society never noticed, and now the least we could do is learn and try not to repeat the same mistakes once again.
He said that he still has those compulsions and admitted and apologized, but why? maybe just to garner sympathy and because he may have guessed that people would expect him to deny it but if he doesn’t he can fool people, deceive them, generate more smyptahy? Or maybe he’s telling the truth? Fact tremains he was unabe ton control his computlison and we can only rely on subjective accounts of the man himself who did such actions.
HAHAHAHAHA. I apologize for laughing, I understand the seriousness of the situation. However, I find the exchange between Glenda and the other person humorous. It's absurd that they suggest praying to God to stop having a big heart. It highlights the limitations of religion and the need for science to intervene. Science can offer hope and prevent suffering, and it doesn't have to contradict one's religious beliefs. We can believe that God made it possible for us to develop scientific tools to help people. It's important to embrace both religion and science and use them to make the world a better place.
I appreciate how Jeff's father apologized upon seeing his son's lifeless body, as if he recognized that his own neglect had played a part in the chain of events that led to his son's gruesome end. Perhaps if he had paid more attention or created a safe space for Jeff to express his intrusive thoughts, compulsions, and desires, he could have prevented this tragedy. Seeing his son's death and the pain he caused to the victims and their families was undoubtedly heartbreaking for him. Watching him cry, I empathized with his pain and felt as though I had failed my own child. The series did an excellent job of portraying this complex emotional journey through the fantastic performances of all the actors, including Jeff's father, Tony, Glenda, Jeff himself, and even the psychiatric inmate who killed him. Although I have never witnessed such extreme psychiatric cases in real life, the actor accurately conveyed the irrationality and derangement that often accompany such conditions. The show's casting and storytelling were impressive.
I am at a loss for words. Lionel's sudden irrational behavior and his mother's logical approach are unexpected. I never expected a chemist to behave this way, but then again, he is Dahmer's father. Even his mother recognizes how beneficial studying Dahmer's brain could be for researchers. It could greatly advance our progress and help detect future Dahmers early and treat them before it's too late. It's like how Einstein's brain was used for the study of genius and intelligence. Dahmer's brain could be used for the study of sociopathy and everything he did.
Dahmer wanted to be cremated, but he also wanted to murder a 13-year-old, have sex with his dead body, dismember him, and eat him. So isn't it fair that now that he's dead, we can use his brain for good? In his last words in court, Dahmer said he was only accepting to stand trial because he wanted to help people with similar disorders in the future. Why not honor his wishes?
I really hope Lionel does the right thing. I wish he would preserve Dahmer's brain for research. We could understand what caused his behavior better than we do now. Please don't destroy this precious opportunity to study this fascinating organ that caused so much suffering and damage to society. We need to learn from history and prevent future Dahmers, Gacys, and Ed Geins.
It's interesting to note that Gacy was also the inspiration for King's Pennywise the Clown. If Lionel has good reasons for his decision, and he's a chemist, he might be making a well-informed decision. But as a scientist, one of the core pillars of the scientific method is open-mindedness. Even a small chance that we could understand and learn something new is worth considering. The alternative is just burning away Dahmer's brain, which would respect his father's emotions, but I think Lionel must have had good reasons for this.
The judge really hit the nail on the head when he said, "Closure is a rather evil chapter in our human existence, so to speak. I believe it would be beneficial to the public and all concerned that there be closure." His words made me rethink my theories about treating offenders, as my cousin pointed out that they may not be accepted back into society anyway. This led me to develop a plan to allow offenders to live out their life sentence while testing interventions on them until they are suitable for treatment before they commit their first crime.
Additionally, I think there should be a rule that allows kids to work late at night and that their mothers should try to understand the importance of their research interests, even if it means working until 2 am. It's important to respect their preferences and recognize that their work will help people in the future without causing harm to anyone. Although my mother is right that it's getting late, I just need to finish the last ten minutes of this series before I go to sleep. Time really flies when you're engrossed in something interesting.
With all religions and gods that promote forgiveness, compassion, kindness, and empathy, I believe that those of us who follow such religions should unite. I even made a video about this because some people out there are spreading hatred and inciting violence. Therefore, all religions that believe in being kind, compassionate, not harming anyone, not making anyone suffer, and helping people should unite so that people with selfish ulterior motives cannot use religion to spread hatred and violence.
Glenda is now talking more logically. She acknowledges to the pastor that she cannot forgive Jeff Dahmer, and she wants to see him suffer and in pain. She realizes that Jesus wants forgiveness and that it was Dahmer's brain that made him unable to control himself, but she is unable to get past these feelings. She wants to go beyond these negative feelings into the "good place," but she herself is having these compulsive desires and thoughts. This makes me think of something interesting. People know that they should forgive and have kindness and empathy, and this gives me hope for humanity. People have it inside them, and they turn to religion for this, but at some point, even religion fails to give this mental peace and comfort, as in the case of Glenda and Jeff Dahmer.
I think it is exceedingly unlikely and highly improbable that Jesus will come down to Earth and remove all the nightmares and make Glenda forget her PTSD and negative thoughts and be happy again. But I know how to do it, and I am going to do it. Would that make me more powerful than God? I am being honest; I have no interest in religion. I am an agnostic atheist. But if this is what people want from religion - mental peace and comfort - and I can show them how they can achieve this through psychiatric, neurosurgical, psychopharmacological, and neurotechnological behavioral psychological tools, would they start seeing how science is more powerful than God?
This actually reminds me of that LessWrong sequences post (I need to read it all still) where Eliezer talks about how religion is the only social institution left untouched by science. But soon, people will realize that the answers they sought in religion, the comfort, peace, and goals they wanted out of religion, they can get much more easily and effectively and reliably from science. Once they see that, they would not need religion anymore, and we can live in peace, harmony, and unity. I'd be happy even if we could do that with religion, but for cases like Glenda's, like PTSD, it's similar to how I promised my friend, who has PTSD due to childhood sexual abuse, that I am going to create this thing that can snap out PTSD, erase traumatic memories, and allow them to live happily again. This is realistic research being done. One research that comes to mind is Julia Shaw, and I know I can achieve this and make it a reality.
People don't realize what is possible when you figure out the right manipulation of the brain, how it works, and treat it. Anything is possible in this regard - Nozick metaverse, any experience, any subjective mental state, illness, disorder, ability, trait, perception of reality itself. And then we could help people like Glenda and indirectly help people be more empathetic and forgive such people. We could at least early detect and prevent such criminals from having their first kill again, think logically, and be free from negative emotions, calm, indifferent like a monk - TDCS, TMS. Then we could get closer to a society that is more peaceful and compassionate.
That is just one of my patents, actually. I'm getting a patent publication that treats a very similar disorder, and I could extend it to PTSD and treat people like Glenda. I will stop right here, because of reasons I mention in the meta-post, and because I've already spent too much time on a single post. Let me know if some lost soul happens to read everything I've written till now, and if you actually read it all, you have my sympathy, and I hope you get well soon. Just kidding. Half kidding, anyway. I'd be happy to have a chat with someone who has read till now because if you have, it's likely that you have something to say, and I'd like to hear it. Read it. Whatever.
Update: Yes, it's getting worse. He had fantasies, sexual fantasies just to keep them with him. My loneliness. Is getting. Worse. Everyday. And now my overactive Imagination. Has. Kicked in. I don't have sexual fantasies, though I won't deny that like most other teens I have sexual desires but it's very complicated for me to manage them because the methods others popularly advocate is very disgusting to me. I know it's- natural, nothing wrong with it, I respect those who are fine with it- that's almost everyone- but I'm not, I have a strong personal dislike for it. I find it as aversive as not being able to control your impulses and instinctive desires, which it kind of is, and I didn't have them at all.
For the same reason, I never watch or read pornography. Not because I think it's immoral or irreligious or something, I like to believe I'm more intelligent than that, and I acknowledge that it's perfectly objectively and scientifically speaking a human need and desire and there is nothing 'bad', 'wrong', 'shameful' or anything, it's just emotions, feelings, subjective values that people have used when sex education was not popular and we didn't have science. At least not as advanced science as today. It's hard to explain in words, and I believe that exact sentence I said before the comma in this sentence is what Dahmer said in one of his interviews.
More than the sexual needs, it's the need to be understood and to be able to relate with someone. I have very few friends online, zero offline, social isolation is making my mental health worse even though I'm cognitively, logically, rationally happy and intellectually fulfilled, getting the time to work on my projects and research, but it's like not feeling hungry but still slowly and steadily starving to death even though the change is almost unnoticeable, though after a recent mental breakdown it's much more noticeable. I actually created a YouTube vide about it, and a post titled I will not give up, both about different aspects of the breakdown; the video is more like an update to an update in the post, but self-contained.
I know I have parents who are supportive and loving and I'm grateful to have them. And the few online friends I have. I still don't share much with them because I'm always afraid that I'm simply annoying them and they're just being nice and polite when they say that they are going to listen and internally thinking that I'm wasting their time or something. I don't even have anything specific to talk about; but at the same time I have a lot to talk about. Yet I consider the possibility that they are not being honest and only being charitable or nice cause they know I'm isolated, even though I believe my friends are more honest and direct than that, I know that I might have done something similar if I knew anyone like me.
So I turn to my blog and notepads, and more recently, YouTube. I have fantasies, which I didn't have until very recently. I don't even think I'd call them fantasies. It's just like I imagine having someone who can understand me and who'd never be annoyed by anything I say. I can be completely myself, without any apprehension or hesitation, and never worry about offending them or annoying them or boring them, because they are similar to me- I'm using they as a pronoun, not saying that I need multiple people, just one, and even though I'm heterosexual so naturally my brain thinks about the opposite gender, but I would also be fine with the same gender or no gender at all, I don't care about such superficial things, just the core values and traits, certain things that are more closely associated with the person, also based on chance, yet more closely related to their self.
It's like dreaming of a companion who is there with you. I think they are there with me physically, such as my pillow maybe, because even though I dislike human touch the same as I dislike social interaction, I need a certain minimum amount and I like social interaction with similar like-minded people. So it's like having someone who can understand me, and also as carefree and not irrationally obsessive over all the wrong social constructs and norms and stuff that everyone cares too much about. I think it's highly unlikely to find such a person, which is why I'm using writing as an outlet again, a creative outlet. Unlike Dahmer.
Though it does get frustrating and sometimes I'm jealous and start feeling a bit down and frustrated because it's- because of stuff that happened in the past, certain rare diseases and illnesses, both physical and mental, which resulted in me not being able to do anything more than barely functioning normally, let alone making friends, let alone being as proactive in my research and projects as I am now.
I am still grateful for having recovered and being able to help others, even though it resulted in the lost time and me dropping out twice and mediocre grades and self doubt and suffering, now that I'm out of it, it feels worth is and I'm just reframing and rationalizing to fine the silver lining and have a more optimistic worldview and positive outlook on my past and future, now there is hope. Only if I can resolve this loneliness, be more social, extroverted, outgoing. I am never going to be like Dahmer, because of my upbringing, and because I've been predisposed to have morals, even though not perfectly aligned with ethics, it's about doing no harm to others, not making sentient beings suffer.
Helping those less fortunate than me. I can override and rationalize my morals to some extent, but I know that I would feel unfulfilled if I do so, and give up my project and values that are consistent with helping others. I have tried this, giving up such values, and faced a lot of cognitive dissonance, that I have been able to resolve, and I believe I can live perfectly well not helping others, but I believe I should help others. Harming others is out of the question. But first of all I need to help myself, so I am in a mental state to be able to help everyone I wish to help through my projects.
~
Oh no, what- I just listened to the end credits soundtrack of Monster, and I got goosebumps and chills all over and almost started crying. It's not so unusual for me to get teary eyed and feel like my soul is being pulled out of my body, but that's always been the case only with piano music, sometimes violin, never- this. Never from such a soundtrack. And I actually felt very depressed and- not the same sort of sad and depressed when you listen to a sad song, but because it reminded me of Dahmer, the story, the representation of it and the soundtrack is so good, at least this one, it reminds me of his mind, how I felt everything he felt, the actor seemed to have portrayed so- I don't know if it's accurate but I- I'm never listening to this soundtrack when I'm depressed, or- And I'm listening to it whenever I feel demotivated, I'm going to play this and remember that there are people suffering. no, not just what- a normal person would remember when they listen to it, what I expect anyway, I don't think they would cry for the same reason I feel like crying listening to this depressing music.
My reason is the victims too, yes, but even more importantly, the criminal himself, who could have been fixed, treated, much before there were any victims. He suffered for so long due to his compulsions, intrusive thoughts, overwhelming uncontrollable impulsive desires, and he was not evil before he killed the first one- Steven Hicks, right?- but after that, it got hopeless, and I agree that his actions were evil and monstrous and despicable and everything you want to call it. But the person, I need everyone to understand this- he was not a monster, his brain might be a monster, and his actions definitely were monstrous, but before he got his first kill, it's easier to imagine how he was not evil, but he could be helped, just if society was more observing and helpful and had some empathy, we can prevent future Dahmers from going down this path, with my idea, my new paper that I am going to publish too, we can help the criminals- we don't even need to help the victims because there are going to be no victims, we can just catch, detect, fix the criminals early, and there will be no victims, and the criminal would also be saved- by any means- saved from suffering- either fixed or given a painless death; for more details about my idea, my plan, my solution, check out my post Reforming the justice system.
I need to listen to some super positive upbeat happy song right now. I will need to revisit that theme from time to time to remember that I cannot rest, cannot live in peace, cannot enjoy anything I am fortunate enough to have been given, express gratitude but that's not enough- there are subjective experiences, mental states much worse than anything a neurotypical average normal human being could imagine, much worse than death, conceivable hell, a lot of suffering, mental illnesses and disorders, that not just compel people to harm themselves make them suffer a lot, but also that compel them to harm others, even more dangerous and unaddressed, as those people don't get the help they need and no one even realizes that they have an illness, assign subjective labels to them without thinking how they are playing a role in making it harder to prevent such events from happening again in the future, being partly responsible for indirectly being an instrument in this vicious cycle, negative feedback loop, where you don't help those who suffer and make them feel uncomfortable sharing their compulsive intrusive thoughts and impulsive desires, and later when they snap, you assign labels which doesn't only make it harder for them to get the help they need, but also harder to prevent it from happening again in the future.
I need to listen to a happy song right now because if I don't, I'll get too depressed, cynical, misanthropic, suicidal even maybe, so I need to just be alright enough to be able to carry out my projects, yet not forget that I cannot waste time on any distractions.
No games, socialization, relationships, movies, nothing. Maybe music. Without music, it'll be very hard. But nothing else, minimize it as much as I can. I hope I don't suffer from- I'm already facing the adverse effects of social isolation so maybe I do need to work on socialization, being more extroverted and outgoing and meeting new people. But the important part is being aware of and never losing sight of my goals.
There's another update but I included it in an update to the post Madness and Confessions. I'll just add an out of context yet relevant to this post excerpt from that update here-
Something weird happened today, something that has frightened me even more and made me concerned about my own mental health, worried that I’ve started losing it. Well, to start with, there is stuff I described in my post Dahmer, but after that- today my parents left and I was alone again for a short time. I am never usually alone, as I was earlier in a hostel and there’s my mom at home even if sleeping next door she is always there. Today there was no one, and being alone felt.. liberating, nice, being solitary, even though it’s so lonely, the isolation is taking a toll on my mental health, still I felt- the weird thing is, I felt like talking to myself, and my mouth-
Okay- this is going to sound crazy and even while writing this I realize it’s hard to believe even I’d have felt it’s hard to believe if it didn’t happen to me. My mouth automatically started speaking to myself. You know how it’s a cognitive bias where you get an Ouija board and it’s your own hand that’s moving your subconscious maybe what you want it to be but still it does feel like you’re being compelled- that’s what I’ve heard it’ like.
I felt like talking, I knew it’s me thinking, my own brain and my own mouth and me myself speaking, but I felt like an intrusive compulsive desire, a compulsion that I could not resist, as if a subconscious desire, or a desire that’s hard to control, I felt like talking and speaking something, I didn’t know what until I spoke, but I just did, so I spoke.
And what I said, what my mouth was trying to tell me frightened me. I won’t say exactly what it told me, because I know it’s unbelievable enough already and you’d think I’m faking pretending whatever but I don’t even care if you trust me or not, because it’s my personal blog and writing is therapeutic, a creative outlet, and I feel better when I capture my feelings, emotions, thought processes with natural language and find it comforting that someone would read this in the future, as it’s getting harder to keep it to my notepads and I need a real human to listen to me, but I’m too worried about annoying the few online friends I have who might just be being nice and polite so I’m just- writing on my blog and now the channel.
Leaving out the exact details, the nature of it was a bit depressing. It told me asked me more like- actually, it told me to just end it all, give up my projects and I said no and then it asked me why not? Why should I not just give up everything, why do I need to help others, why am I obliged to help others even though I never asked to be born as a human, and death is simply nonexistence, nothingness, blissfully being unaware of everything, why would someone not want that? Why do I need to put myself through so much suffering just to help all these people, help those less fortunate than me- why?
And I had no answer really.
Or rather, I had, but I- I mean, I reminded myself of all the logical reasons to be moral, my own idea of morality, but then I also- I mean, it was just like the compulsions to kill and harm others that sociopaths have, except that I’m not a sociopath and the compulsion was to harm no one else other than me, and not even harm, just- you know, just send the existing into non-existence, if you know what I mean- as you also know I usually don’t use euphemisms or anything just direct, honest, logical, but I’m just trying to counter the feeling by reframing it more positively.
I see nothing wrong with- I mean, there is indirect suffering, just like in the case of Dahmer, he never made them suffer, but their parents and close ones indirectly suffered, and that was still very bad. And those people themselves never wanted to die, and stuff I described elsewhere. But in my case, I’d be the only criminal and the only victim, and my close ones- just my parents really, as I don’t think there is anyone else- my online friends are very few and I suspect that they’re just being nice or something, so it’s kind of like the golden opportunity to go out peacefully before I meet new people and start university and stuff, but then my projects and ideas...
~
Now I can see how such external factors that are out of our control and not our own fault sometimes makes us think that we are evil and we must be punished, but just like my allergy is genetic and not my fault, people who have other disorders- sociopathy, psychopathy, antisocial, desire to kill or philias that are unacceptable in society- may think it's their fault and harm themselves if they have a strong sense of morals and don't act on them. I grew very resentful of all humans during that period of time, and I think that's also the origin of my inferiority complex that still makes it hard for me to practice self-love and self-care because my brain still sometimes tells me I'm a contemptible and loathsome and terrible human and amount to nothing worthless just born to suffer and cause parents and other suffering- but it’s nothing more than unintelligible incoherent whispers now, and I'm much more confident that I have the ability to help others, and even accepting the brain's premise that I am a bad person who deserves to not be loved, even then I know that I can make other people feel loved and understood, those who are abandoned and hate humans and society, because I can understand very well how you might grow antagonistic and angry and misanthropic towards humans and society and believe me when I say that it was not at all easy to go from being such a pessimistic misanthrope myself with nothing but hatred for others, to someone who believes that everyone deserves to be loved, even those whom society doesn't, and especially those, and I might be biased due to my own personal experiences as you might have realized already, but even rigorously analyzing scrutinizing my rationalizations and logic and reasons behind my beliefs, I see no flaw with the arguments and might be blinded by my subjective bias which us why I am sharing my ideas clearly on this blog and requesting anyone who disagrees and finds any flaw with my logic to convince me because I'd be more than happy to be corrected cause I don't care about my beliefs; I care about the truth and being closer to reality, being less wrong than I currently am and have no delusions or distorted biased perspective on an issue so important that it involves real beings suffering, and I only desire to help them and repeat that I believe everyone deserves to be understood and loved, and anyone who thinks differently is most welcome to get in touch.
My parents have been telling me that my room has this distinct bad odour, and to be honest I'm not sure how I didn't make the connection until today in the evening when my father told me the same thing. I don't think I need to make the connection explicit here.
The interesting thing is I never got that smell, the odour, but my parents always do, and I deny it; they say it might be because of the lack of cross-ventilation and humidity and stuff even though the exhaust fan and the ceiling fan is always on nowadays. It's good to know that they still haven't looked under my bed in the little narrow space between the bed and the wall because if they do they would discover- heh let's not joke about this here because then some of my more intelligent readers might get the wrong impression, (sarcasm intended) especially considering all the other stuff I've mentioned which is perfectly serious, no kidding, unless explicitly mentioned, just like I did. Though I doubt who could be reading till now, I'd like to know if you are and also maybe taste your- no jokes.
Well actually I am a vampire- I feel nice at night and hate sunlight and sunlight makes me feel disoriented and dizzy, as I explain in my post related to Asperger's, and I bleed a lot, just little cuts, not due to anything other than a skin condition I have which is much better now but was worse in the past, and I have tasted- okay, not tasted, but it's like when I had a cut and there was a little blood I was sometimes advised by elders to suck it and so I did it once or at most twice before deciding that it might be harmful to my health and it doesn't taste that good anyway, though I like the shine, the colour, the vibrant dark or bright red colour and rich thick creamy texture, the tasteful thickness; unexpected Bateman, and also just made the connection with Dahmer's Splanchnophilia.
I said that I don't like the gross wet biological wetware, the most abstract parts, and that was true, but I do actually like the red colour of my blood. Never tried anyone else's blood though. No, I also don't intend to. Not that I'd say I do if even if I did, but no I really don't. Even though that's exactly what- okay, let's stop right here.
I watched a real interview, and I had to pause it every few seconds. Not because it was too intense or anything; it was, but that's not the primary reason. It was dense, and I needed time to.. think. He said he wanted to create an altar and also took pics to preserve beauty. And once again I was reminded of something I do.
Not pics, not an altar. But preserving something of beauty that is fleeting, transient, malleable, short lived. Everyone does, when you think about it. (The the notepad part) for me it's information and knowledge about things that excite me, certain topics, in the form of notes in my notepads and books. Music that moves me to the core, piano, violin, guitar music, certain pieces, even sheet music, even though I don't know how to read sheet music yet.
I've seen some people store memes. Yes, memes might seem silly and insignificant, but when you realize it's about things that are of social importance and some ideas ideas that are more relatable, beautiful, funny, whatever, they arouse certain emotions within us, and so we share and spread them. Good art and beauty, we store and wish to preserve and spread. I even created a post about this and there was an Aeon Psyche essay about it so I have accomplished academics and scientific evidence to back up this claim. I also do this with pics actually, dark cold sceneries, as I live in a sunny hot area.
More stuff I do. I keep music playlists, like everyone. But I keep sheet music, also have a desire to keep the representations as converted to mathematical and art forms, not just the music, just the same thing in different languages- same with how I want natural language to logic to mathematics, back and forth, plus art and music, all different senses and languages. Also just how I keep my notepads with me, with my personal experiences, values, interests, projects, things I'm grateful for, lessons learned, general life lessons and algorithms, future goals and ambitions, beliefs, things I like, knowledge and book notes and info I have acquired, all of them in the form of symbols, sounds, visuals, medium doesn't mater, it's the knowledge, the information, the data, and I want to preserve it as it's beautiful to me, I love it, I like being curious and I love acquiring knowledge about topics I am passionate about.
How is that different from Dahmer who wanted to preserve physical beauty and- that hard to describe sense of power and control? It's different in the way that he wanted to harm others, his desires compelled him to harm others and I agree, but the point is that it was the same inclinations and desires and interests arising from emotions, arising from genes and early environment, no different from our own desires and interests and emotions, just they needed to be helped, treated, fixed, so he didn't feel like harming others, and even he knew what he was doing is wrong, he said it multiple times after he was arrested, even that he deserved to die for it and he didn't even resist at the end when he was killed, so why could he not be fixed, why should such people in the future not be fixed before they get their first kill? Even after, it gets just harder for them to get closure and revenge for the close ones of the victims, but they can be and should be treated and it's amental illness, a disorder, is my point.
Maybe it's confirmation bias, just like you see what you want to see, cherry picking data, p-hacking, not deliberate but just because it's on your mind, now I'm seeing it everywhere. Back when I was in hostel, I was called down by some seniors- I describe this incident in my post hostel journal- but in brief, I was uncharacteristically calm and indifferent and, I mean, I didn't want to offend anybody, but I think I was being too logical and said something that- I should probably not have said, because judging by everyone's reactions, I just burned someone really bad, as everyone reacts usually after a clever comeback that butchers a person, even though I didn't mean to, I just said it, and then he came towards me charging and for a second I thought it's going to end here and now, though for some reason- this still baffles me- I felt no fear at all.
But that senior was held back, and I apologized and said I had not malicious intent and I was just expressing my thoughts freely and I didn't mean to offend anyone but if I mistakenly hurt someone- again no fear, just because I dislike hurting someone emotionally or physically, the same as when my cousin snatched my notepad once- another incident I describe in another post- and I felt indescribable rage and then I- it was hard to control but I stayed back, did the right thing, as he is not the thinking type, the more tank physically dominating type, doesn't think too deeply and isn't open-minded. And what's even more interesting: the same senior later called me to a room at night alone and said something eerily similar to "I don't like it kid" (remember that scene from Dahmer, shortly before he was bludgeoned to death by the same person?) and that he doesn't like this attitude and it could get me in trouble with other seniors. I didn't argue of course, just nodded and went back. Just like Dahmer seemed to do in prison, annoying inmates, I don't know if he did it deliberately or if he was just "passing time" as he said, and if he didn't feel any fear; it's unlikely he felt any fear; psychopaths usually don't. I'm not one, by the way, though there are traits that I seem to have in common, I'm not impulsive, don't feel the need to manipulate or deceive, and don't derive pleasure from watching other sentient beings suffer, in fact I feel depressed knowing that I exist in a world where possibly sentient beings are suffering and no one- even neurotypicals, especially neurotypicals- seems to care, not trying to help those less fortunate than them. Hence my ongoing projects, which I describe in another post.
And here I was thinking that I don't annoy anyone and I'm too much of coward to every do something like Dahmer did, the little pranks he played in prison, for instance, not the crimes, I still believe I can't do the crimes because of my disposition and upbringing. I do annoy everyone and I've got ghosted many times just for being myself and expressing my thoughts and- it's related to autism and I guess it's the same with everyone who has autism, but I have given up pretending at all, if others perceive me as weird it's their problem as long as I'm not harming anyone and respecting other people's beliefs and sensibilities, they must respect my own personal preferences. I don't pretend, I don't 'mask' because I'm lonely and believe that being my self would make it more likely for me to come across like-minded people in real life; I have a few friends online but the physical isolation is taking a toll on my mental health. Now maybe re-read the previous sentence with that Dahmer's childhood story and the mall scene in mind, and you'll realize.. I don't want to go down that path, and I know I can't, but I know that when I am very low, I act just as absurd and carefree and I might do something irrational to harm myself if not others, a bit too absurd and silly that crosses the limits- it's like I don't get to express my real self and so suppressing it after a point makes it manifest in extreme ways after which it could get harder to control. Which is why I'm expressing my real self now, through my blog, youtube channel, trying to meet new people, my projects also act as distractions but only till a point; I need to face the problem else one day I won't even realize it's a problem and by then it'll be too late to do anything anyway. I don't annoy my online friends too as I think they're just being nice and polite and maybe I'm annoying them too, and you don't really know until you know anyone really well, which is probably why I should maybe start going out more. I talk about this in my post Friendship. I'll end this post here, for now. Goodbye.
Update: this domain might help me cultivate and practice my core values better, as well as fit my schizotypal tendencies, be grateful, understand the abyss, and scrutinize the 'disorders' and understand and manipulate all the factors that influence our thought processes, decision making, might compel us to act irrationally, and make it easier or harder to live according to our inclinations https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XXO6X_yDaM_WI5pv4BVqm2hZl55QU3d9M10pwCCUaGU/edit?usp=sharing
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